Flight of the Butterfly Man
by Ayla Curtis
Summary: Prequel to ‘Beyond the Edge’, telling events in the life of Maddrell the sole survivor of the Razielim clan. Beginning with the cull and leading up to and including the Hylden domination of Nosgoth. Ch 5 finally done and posted. Sorry it took so long
1. C 01 Peace Shattered

**Flight of the Butterfly Man**

**By**

**Ayla Curtis**

Chapter One: Peace Shattered

When not maiming or terrorising pathetic short-time mortals, what do you suppose a vampire does with his or her free time? The bloodlust, contrary to popular belief, is not permanent and so cannot occupy the vast expanse of immortality the un-dead must suffer. Though the vague hunger and the knowledge of the need to feed is always there it is no greater than a human's need for food and water (accept during the actual act of feeding or arousing cruelty)…unless it is deliberately nurtured into sadistic craving, which some do seem to enjoy doing.

The majority of vampires, however, prefer to simply take up hobbies and harmless little obsessions to satisfy them during the times that blood does not. I happen to be one of them.

I know many different vampires with many different hobbies. For example; one loves to read, as there will always be new books coming to the world and she says that nothing really can compare to the smell of an old volume…I say that she's gone funny in the head. Another that I know likes to build siege weapons; it's a pretty redundant thing to do, due to our utter supremacy, but it is definitely interesting and unique and it is always disappointing to watch him dismantle his latest completed project to begin a new one…he only ever designs and constructs one at a time. Some write, some draw and some learn new skills while others devote their attention to developing skills that they already possess.

I like to break windows and piece them together again. It all started when I found broken stained glass panels on the floor of an abandoned human structure. I had wanted to see what the picture it had depicted had looked like so I spent a while making it whole again. After that it didn't really matter whether there was a picture or pattern or not, I found some odd joy in being able to reconstruct even panels of broken clear glass. It is actually quite a calming pass time although it can become quite frantic when my fellow Razielim berate me for constantly breaking bits of our territory and they do have an unfortunate learned habit of pouncing on me whenever they see a heavy object in my hand. Has it ever occurred to them that there are other uses for such objects and that I just might not be about to hurl it at one of their precious windows?

It isn't even as if I have actually been around all that long.

I became a vampire only five years previous and for an immortal that is hardly any time at all. I am barely considered a fledgling by the elders, I'm just another of the invisible faces who help keep the species together. There are a few of them who will acknowledge my existence; master Raziel fore one and a select numbers of his older children that find my quirky behaviour and attitude amusing. To them I'm just a happy, sappy head-case who can make them laugh from time to time…I try to aspire to something more worthy than a court jester but that seems to be the path my life is taking me down.

At the present moment in time I was studying the pieces of my latest 'find'; I had wrecked the last pane I could find outside of the territory and brought it back to my dingy little camber to continue with what I liked to do best.

About an hour after I had settled down, cross-legged, on the bare stone floor and had become thoroughly engrossed with the almost lethally sharp jigsaw before me, I was interrupted by one of the few elders who speak to me.

"You have no idea how many complaints I hear about you, Maddrell." She said, stepping gracefully into the room I called home.

Her name was Calisra; five foot ten tall and elegantly slim with large dark child-like eyes. She was always impeccably dressed in the height of whatever the present fashion was considered to be even though she looked stunning in whatever she happen to dress herself in…unfortunately, her wild mop of untameable hair tended to spoil the aristocratic appearance. Most men would want for more shape on a woman and curvy was something that Calisra never had been nor never would be. She was one of the very few who could hold a lengthy conversation with me.

"Complaints, my elder?" I replied with an innocent tone and all the respect I could muster from my vocal chords. "Whatever would they be about?"

"Oh, drop the façade you silly man." She said with a smile as she closed the door carefully behind her and leant on the nearest wall. "You know exactly what I speak of."

"I'm sure that I don't." I sighed and picked up another sliver of glass between my thumb and fore finger. The reverent edge was gone from my voice as it was little more that a private game between us. She didn't care for bowing and scraping from the younger vampires she knew; she found it patronising.

"You're a little vandal, Maddrell. Since you arrived we have had to replace more glass each month than we used to have to each _year_. Can you not find another way to keep yourself amused?"

I made an effort of acting as though I actually cared and was thinking about the request. "No." I concluded simply.

She laughed. "I didn't think so, and I doubt that I could ever change your mind even if I wanted to try."

"How right you are." I told her…though if she asked me nicely I would do all sorts of things for her. I can't help but want to please people who are nice to me. I placed the fragment I held in its correct place next to its fellows and began to sift through the pile of others at my right hand side.

Calisra crossed the short space between us and joined me on the floor, smoothing her dress over her legs and peering at the glass I now held cradled in one palm for inspection.

"I don't know how you do it; they all look the same to me." She commented. "And there is no pattern to go by.

"Yes there is." I corrected her. "Look; the pieces become smaller towards the point of impact that broke the pane and the pieces nearest to it will point towards it as well. Also, if you look at the broken edge you can see lines, striations, and you can tell which side of the pane is which by the direction of them."

Calsira raised one eyebrow. "You are not so much of a clown as you appear. Sometimes I think that you could be quite an influence if you would only stop acting the fool half of the time. But seriously; you can't keep smashing windows."

I dropped the fragment back onto the pile and stretched to convince my muscles that they really didn't want to fuse into the position I had sat myself in for so long. Each joint produced a good hard cracking sound that tended to make other people flinch when they heard it. "But everything else bores me senseless. I am a slow reader so I would rather keep my distance from books, and neither have I ever been much of an artist. I'm not overly fond of making things and I have a very limited imagination, thus writing is out of the question." I explained, while popping each joint in my spine one after the other so that the sound rolled up my back.

Calisra winced as if in sympathy for the pain she though that I aught to be feeling…oh how I love it when I can disturb her collected demeanour! "Then why don't you try something new for once then." She suggested. "Like music, perhaps."

"Me? Music? Calisra you should know by now that I couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. My timing is atrocious and I can barely produce a single steady note when I try to whistle. If you remember rightly, the last time I attempted to sing I was asked where the drowning cat was."

"Oh don't pout." She said and followed the movements of my hands as I fished through the glass again. "You know, it amazes me how you don't cut yourself."

"Luck, I suppose…and concentration. You would probably find it easy enough." With this comment I indicated her claws; three shafts of thick skinless bone to each hand, powerful but with dexterity and delicacy when required. "Do you ever miss your fingers?"

Calisra adopted a smile sweet enough to put sugar to shame. "As vampires we will always be changing. Our bodies change just as master Raziel's does, and though you may regret loosing things what you gain will always be greater in the long run. Unlike humans we have millennia ahead of us and we will evolve as individuals as well as a species. Sometimes, biologically speaking, sacrifices need to be made for improvement to occur and fingers happen to be one of those things."

My hands, covered in only a paper thin layer of skin for protection, would one day be like hers. Thinking ahead to what it might be like I privately concluded that it would take a very long time to grow used to the inability to feel anything but ghost-like sensations. I think I will miss my fingers when the time comes even if I do not completely mourn their loss.

"Speaking of evolution." I said conversationally, taking my wrist into my hand and twisting it in such a way that it produced a sound so sharp and sudden you could have believed the bones within had been snapped. "How goes the master's latest change?"

"As well as can be expected, but we shan't fully know until he emerges. There has been no deviation in his condition, if that is what you mean."

"How long now before the metamorphosis should be complete?"

"Within the week I should think. But is only an estimate…you can make a good guess using the solidity and colour of the chrysalis."

"Bit like butterflies, isn't it?"

"Vaguely…I suppose it's a good enough analogy."

"What does it look like? What actually _happens_?" It would be a very long time before I would experience an evolution. I must admit that I am fascinated by the whole subject but have been unable to satisfy my curiosity; the State of Change of a vulnerable and delicate time and so master Raziel is closely guarded, as is any information regarding his situation. Such knowledge would be invaluable to the small pockets of human resistance left in our land. I find that the elders are unwilling to discuss such things, even to fellow vampires. Though they are important, times of evolution are quite a taboo subject; seen as highly private until they are complete and so discussion is not encouraged.

But Calisra has never really cared about enforcing such things…in fact; she seems quite open about them. She was happy to fill me in. "The State of Change itself is a period when the mind becomes dormant. The body falls into a comatose state and adopts a tight foetal position whereupon the skin will fuse into a single flat surface all over and peel away from the body to become the cocoon inside which the body develops the changes and re-grows new skin. The chrysalis will expand to accommodate any large changes and once a size large enough is found it will harden and darken till the body recuperates energy and settles. Consciousness will then return and the chrysalis can be split from the inside to emerge."

Just thinking about it as she explained it to me made my skin itch all over. "It sounds painful." I commented, resisting the urge to scratch.

"It may be, but as you are unconscious when it happens your mind would not register it and pay any attention. That is why it is such a fragile time; you are helpless and it is difficult to be woken until it is complete. The cocoon provides some protection but a determined person could easily find a way to break it."

"Calisra…you are one of those charged to protect the master during this time are you not?"

"Aye, we take it in shifts. Speaking of which, I really should be going to meet with my little team and relieve the others." She stood to leave.

"Wait…" I stopped her with a simple hand on her arm. "Before you go, might I ask you another question? I know it's not my place but…"

"What is it?" She could see my nervousness plainly planted on my face.

"The master…he…would I…I mean…" I wasn't sure how to say it, as what I was asking would probably be deemed as the height of rudeness. "Could I see him…?"

She simply smiled sweetly. "That permission is not mine to give. I'm sorry, but no." she patted me on the head as if I were a puppy, as she so often does, and then left me to my window.

-o-

The rest of the week passed without disturbance, we were unchallenged by the humans, blood was in no short supply, relations with the other clans were pleasant and the general air about the place was a calm and predominantly happy one. The days came and went and as they did it was inevitable that within the very same hour that I voiced my boredom with such peacefulness that an unforeseen attack was instigated. Patrols had become lax and so the armed human force remained unnoticed until they had all but breached the walls of our territory.

They had waited for the optimal moment to make their move; when our master was locked in his dormant state, when the sun was at its midday peak and when near all of us were resting (it may not kill us, but the smoke obscured sunlight can weaken and make any vampire tired). It was amazingly good fortune that they were spotted at all.

All that could be said was that a definite level of panic arose amongst most of the fledglings, and I am embarrassed to count myself as one of them…but it did not last too long, one we had reminded ourselves of just _who_ we were. We had nothing to fear.

An order was given that all should 'rise to the challenge' (if it could even be deemed worthy of such a title…I think not) and as could be expected we all eagerly rushed to offensive positions, with cold anticipation of the blood to come exciting us all.

However; in my hurry to join the fray about to break out I sought a short cut through the twisting stone block passages that made the interior of our dear home. The path I took I knew well, but I had never taken it running before and my foolish speed combined with a polished floor led to my literal downfall. My feet shot out from under me without a hint of warning as I attempted another corner; it seemed that though my torso was willing and able to make the change in direction, my legs were not so compliant due to the conditions present. There was barely enough time for me to utter a gasped expletive that I do not care to repeat before I careened into a wall and dropped gracelessly down its neighbouring flight of hard stairs. It was my skull that struck the first step, rendering me completely senseless for the remainder of the way down…which could be considered a blessing. I recognised the thumps and snaps as varying parts of my body took the brutal punishment from the fall but I was far too dazed to acknowledge any pain. I ended up in a small aching heap at the bottom of the flight and it took a good couple of minutes before my brain actually came to terms with what had just occurred and notified the rest of me. Slowly, trying to deal with every hurt at the same time, I crawled to my feet and gave myself the once over. It seemed that, ultimately, nothing was seriously damaged except my pride…that had already taken quite a beating that week down to the usual antics I am foolishly goaded into by my peers.

Satisfied that I wasn't going to fall to pieces at a moment's notice and nursing a pounding head, I refocused my eyes and finally realised just where I had landed. Apart from being on the wrong floor and facing entirely the wrong direction from which I had intended, I found that I had tumbled into the hallway that currently contained master Raziel's chamber. During his evolutions he prefers to move to another more non-descript chamber in case of attacks like today…

The hall was empty; no one was around to witness my clumsy descent, which meant no one was guarding our sire.

But then again, it wasn't as if any human could have reached this area.

A faint sound settled in my ears, a quiet click and cut off creak…the sound of a door…

The master's chamber door was ever so slightly ajar…the creaking had stopped and the door was still but it was most definitely on the verge of being opened…or closed again? A second sound reached me that was far too familiar for my liking; it was a sound that any vampire could instantly recognise as it was the muffled thump of a body hitting ground.

An instant creeping sensation of nausea rose fast from deep within me and if I had been human I had no doubt in my mind that my heart would have been beating almost painfully hard against the confines of my ribcage. Was it possible that the entire frontal assault that we had all hurried to was nothing but an elaborate distraction to lure us away from an assassination attempt!

There was no time to alert and elder or gather help…there was just me…me and my bruised self. But even if I was half dazed and abused by a flight of stairs I was still a vampire above all else and was thus no match for any human…surely…

I moved swiftly so that I did not have time to contemplate hesitation and pushed the door firmly open while fixing the musty dark room beyond with a harsh glare.

My immediate sight held nothing as the room was, apparently, empty…but I soon came to notice the naked figure curled on the floor near my feet.

"Master Raziel!" I could not help but exclaim as I dropped to my knees beside him. He had emerged…with…_wings!_

I couldn't believe what my eyes were telling me even though it was undeniable. My sire's back now sported a pair of bat-like wings…wings that seemed weak and slightly crumpled, with sharp creases in the membrane, and bones that could easily be soft to the touch…like those of a freshly emerged butterfly it would appear as if they needed some time outside of their shell to become solid and complete.

The Change had taken a lot out of him, he appeared more pallid than usual and his skin was slick with sweat that plastered his hair to his face. He was wheezing even though he had no need to breathe and I could understand this. Most vampires have a habit of continuing such human actions, even though we do not like to admit it, it can be quite calming. The brain subconsciously remembers that such actions used to make you feel better and so they are brought into play again every so often.

Master Raziel's head rolled and one eye peeled ever so slightly open to blearily focus on me, tiny beads of moisture glinting on dark eyelashes. "…Maddrell…" his voice was not as strong as I had become accustomed to hearing it, barely a whisper it sounded pained and forced. "Help me up."

Dumbfounded, I shook my head clear of the surprise fogging it. There I was just sitting and gawping when it was plainly obvious how weakened he was. What a fool! "Of course, master."

I took one cold, clammy arm as gently as I could and hooked it around my neck, holding his wrist with my right hand, before proceeding to slide my free left arm about his waist. He appeared entirely unfazed by his nudity as no doubt this had occurred many times before in the past, but I cannot say that I shared his comfort.

As I moved to help him to his feet he winced sharply as my left arm slid upwards and put decidedly unwanted pressure on his new wings. I all but dropped him for fear I might be reprimanded or even punished for causing him to suffer any more than he already seemed to have. "I'm sorry!"

"Just hurry." Was all he said…no sharp words or angry remarks. "Help me to my usual chamber."

I nodded, did my best to keep from making any further contact with his fragile and sore wings and began the trek to the upper floors where master Raziel's chamber has its place…up where he can look over our territory and see the horizon stretching away across the land.

"Where are the others?" He asked me as we made our way, using both the walls and myself for support. "I am certain that I did not entrust you nor any of your age with the task of guarding my person during the Change."

"Everyone in the territory is engaged in a skirmish with human platoons, your appointed guards included. We did not expect such an audacious attack. I'm afraid to say that we were taken by surprise, but no doubt we have it under control by this time."

"Why are you not with them?" my sire queried.

"I was…somewhat late in receiving the order to defend the walls and I was on my way when I saw that the door to your chamber was open. I feared the worst, that the assault at the front walls were only to distract us from a single infiltrating assassin, and came to investigate."

"It seems your fear was misplaced, Maddrell." He said, almost as if reassuring me. "But why were you down here if the attack is outside?"

Oh dear…I was going to have to admit… "As I said, I received the order late and…in my hurry…I…felldownthestairs." I rushed the last part of the sentence in the hope he might not notice, but it seemed obvious that he did and I could feel a highly un-masculine blush rising on my cheeks…he must think me such a fool!

But my master merely gave a vague smile…just enough to show the tips of his fangs. "How embarrassing for you, but highly fortunate for me. Perhaps the offending stairway should be thanked for delivering you."

"Indeed." I agreed, undeniably glad that he sympathised and was indicating a good point to my ordeal rather than just simply, outright, laughing at me.

As we passed a window we both caught the sounds and scents of the fight filtering through the air. There was a lot of human blood and screams in the thin, warm breeze.

"We appear to be winning." I commented pleasantly.

"Victory is to be expected." Master Raziel sighed with a grunt of effort as, with my help, he hauled himself up another flight of stairs. "Humans are hardly a contest."

"They can be persistent when they want to be…when one of them has something worth living for they can last quite some time through injury and suffering."

"The same can be said of any animal. They are naught but prey; it is practically their innate duty to die for us so that we may prolong our existence."

"I don't think that they quite agree."

"You almost sound as if you are on their side."

"Never! Master, I grieve to think that you would consider me capable of such a thing."

This produced another small smile. "Calm yourself, it was merely a jest." He said, not unkindly.

We finally came upon his main, usual, chamber and he almost literally fell through the door while trying to push it open and get inside. I was forced to hold him quite tightly to stop him dropping to the stone, even though it meant crushing his wings against him to do so…I would not have had to do so, if only he was not still covered with a wet sheen of perspiration. The moment he reached the bed he shrugged me off and toppled face down onto the sheets, his unnecessary breathing laboured, heavy and slow.

"I must rest." He announced, turning his head to the side so as not to be muffled by that which he lay upon. His eyes were already closed and he was gradually opening his wings out to the cooler air of his personal room.

Outstretched and held still over his back I assumed they would straighten and strengthen.

"I will leave you." I said, bowed politely and turned to leave.

"One moment." My sire called to me to halt my exit.

"Master?" I said, turning back to him.

"I've a few tasks for you. You will need to inform those who should have been guarding me of what has occurred; that I am well and that I am not to be disturbed. Once this little brawl has been dealt with, send a runner to each clan and to Lord Kain, informing them that I will present my new gift to them at the Sanctuary if the Clans tomorrow…but do not have the specifics of my change mentioned; I do not want them discussing it behind my back before I have a chance to confront them. There_ will _be talk but I wish to lessen it as much as possible."

For the second time in that day I experienced the same sickening sinking feeling of fear in the pit of my stomach and my heart. "Master-"

He cut me off before I could say anything more. "Maddrell, just leave. I haven't the energy for more words."

I didn't dare go against him; he was my master, my _sire_. Who was I to even contemplate questioning him?

And yet…

"Master, I must protest." I could not help myself, I opened my mouth with the full intention of voicing a simple 'yes sir' but instead I found all of the fear in my heart pouring out. The very second I began to speak I regretted it, but there was no way to call it back now, it was far too late to stop. In those first four traitorous opening words the damage had been done. "Do you not realise what has happened? You have acquired something that Lord Kain has not…I do not wish to seem rude but he is not the most tolerant of beings and his temper leaves something to be desired. He will be furious…jealous even…master, if you go to him I fear for both your safety and the clan's."

Raziel fixed me with a cold stare that I could not help but shrink under. "Do _not_ speak so. And do not presume to know my sire better than I. I will agree he is not patient and is quick to anger but he would not be so childish as to even contemplate punishing me for a natural evolution that I have no control over."

After wanting so badly, at first, to be able to recall my piece I was now desperate to make my point clearer…but I knew by the glacial look on my master's face that I had already pushed my luck to its limits. I should never have presumed to question him. "My apologies." I mumbled, hoping he would not hear the fear and the anger within my voice. To me, the danger presented by the changes he had acquired were plain to see and I could not bring myself to believe that he was so naïve when he did indeed know Lord Kain far better and far longer that I!

I bowed stiffly, fighting the urge to run over and shake some sense into him; battling my own conscience…I left without another word.

With my own soul screaming at me to return to him and make him see what I did, I decided to try to ignore everything I told myself and make my way to the wall to vent my burning frustration on as many humans as I could lay my hands on. Yet even with that new desire to wreak general havoc I found that my steps were heavy and unwilling, my body suddenly reluctant to move and my head filled with clouded worry to block anything more profound than recalling what had just passed. I felt sick to my stomach. My fear coiled coldly within me and pierced my heart with shards of ice. The world around me was a blur. In the end I just could not bring myself to join in the fighting, it seemed unimportant now, insignificant. I leant against one sun warmed wall of the foremost main courtyard and pretended to watch from a distance. I say 'pretend' because, in truth, my eyes saw nothing. I stared straight through the mass of adrenaline, violence and bloodlust as if there were nothing happening at all. The thought patterns in my head commanded my full attention and nothing short of a sharp implement impaling my heart would have halted them.

Wings…why did the damn bloody fool have to go and grow wings!

Alright…so that was a little harsh. It wasn't his fault that nature had deemed him worthy of such a thing. No one had control of the Change. It was unfair of me to try and blame _that_ on him. But it was also definitely unfair of _him_ to not see the risk we would all now face. Lord Kain was well known for having traitors and those seen as weak thrown into the Abyss as a means of execution and was also infamous for drawing the feared Soul Reaver on any who would be so unlucky as to displease him. Though in my opinion the Lord himself should inspire more dread than any blade. Lord Kain considered himself a Dark God, and those are his own words…so what would happen, do you think, when one of his creations comes before him with an ability he does not possess and with the prospect of others acquiring it before he ever would? It is not the greatest of all sins to believe yourself to be greater than or equal to God?

Surely we were doomed.

One look at those wings and Kain would damn us all. He did not look upon treachery kindly and no doubt would see Raziel's evolution as his son's first step towards attempting to overthrow him. He would want to end the threat. He could never allow another to surpass him.

As the screams around me rose to a frenzied pitch I slowly slid down the wall to the floor, the rough stone scraping the skin of my back. I hugged my knees to my chest (which is a highly uncomfortable thing to do when wearing tight leather trousers; I don't recommend it unless you are in no mood to care) and rested my head on them. Five years into vampirism and I already I seemed to be faced with death or worse. I sighed heavily and tried to convince myself that I wouldn't have wanted to live forever anyway.

To be continued……

**IMPORTANT NOTE – Chapter 2 will push this fic up to an 'M' rating when it's updated, so remember to select 'Fiction Rating: All' when looking for it. I will have update estimates on my bio page.**

_Author's Note – and there you have it the very first chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Never fear; there will be more Raziel in chapters to come but do remember that Maddrell will be leaving this all behind so the majority of known canon characters will be flashbacks as he goes on his journeys. For now I shamelessly plead for reviews. If you have ideas or have something you might like to see happen don't hesitate to let me know and I'll see what I can do. For now I say bye bye!_


	2. C 02 Present, Future and Past

Disclaimer – I do not own Legacy of Kain and I am making no money at all from any part of this fanfiction (sigh).

Acknowledgement – I need to thank Biohazard big time for this fic, and anyone who likes it needs to as well. He suggested it, so I wrote it. Cheers dude!

Chapter Two: Present, Future and Past

"Thinking great thoughts, Maddrell?" An approaching familiar female voice asked me.

I listened to Calisra's claws scuff in front of me as she came to halt. I didn't move, didn't look up, I just remained motionless while watching strange patterns of colour and light play out behind my closed eyelids. "Not really." I replied, voice muffled…somehow I had become exhausted, even though there was no way I could have exerted myself. I suppose that thinking and worrying too much can do that to you.

"Then what brings you so far from the fun and all by yourself? If you hurry, you may still have time to help mop up the last few survivors."

I shook my head. "No, I'm not in the mood."

"How can you not be?" She queried. I heard her shift, indicating that she had crouched down and this was confirmed when she gently took my head in her claws and made me look up at her before she continued. "Is something troubling you, hmm?"

I considered telling her everything I was so scared of at that moment, but decided that it would be better to try to make my own internal dialogue and reasoning a little more coherent before I attempted to express them to anyone else. So I lied. "No, I am fine, just…not in the mood at the moment. I thought it would be best to keep out of everyone's way. You go ahead."

"Daft creature." She said with a smile and released my head. "There is enough blood here to set off _anyone_. You should at least be a little excited."

I shrugged my shoulders; my thoughts were shot to hell...what was the point in keeping it from her? "I _was_ excited. I was running to get here but I used a shortcut, tripped and fell. I came across master Raziel."

Her facial expression turned from cheerful to surprise. "Awake!"

"Indeed, his Change is complete. He had me help him to his main chamber."

Calisra stood up sharply, face awash with some kind of excited joy. "I must go to him immediately."

"No, no, no, no, no!" I told her, grabbing the hem of her dress to prevent her rushing away. The sudden jolt of having unexpected weight attached to her caused her to trip, which in turn pulled me over so that I was sprawled over the floor for the second time that day.

"What was that for, Maddrell?" She demanded, slapping my hands away somewhat viciously with a distinct undertone of rising anger in her words. Though it wasn't too difficult for me to annoy her it was a rare occurrence when shebecame_ angry_ with me and it was something that I tried desperately hard to avoid.

"Master Raziel explicitly said that he had no desire to be disturbed and gave me strict instructions to carry out while he rested." I informed her, crawling back onto my knees and patting dust out of my hair.

"Is that right?" she asked a little sceptically.

"I have never lied to you yet and I have no intention of beginning to do so now."

The revelation seemed to have quelled her bloodlust, now she was genuinely curious. "How is he? His Change…is he well?"

"He is very weak, but he seems certain that he will have fully recuperated by tomorrow."

As I looked over at her, sitting on the ground beside me, I realised that there was no point in keeping any information or my worries from her. I could try all I wanted but in the end she would see through me. "His change is a physical, outward one."

Her eyes widened a little at that. "Go on. Is it solely appearance based?"

"Of course not; it affects ability as well…or at least it aught to eventually. Calisra…he has developed wings. Vespertilian wings."

To say she was dumbstruck would be a terrible understatement. The expression on her face was one to be noted in the annals of history as the sheer embodiment of shock and surprise. Her lips slowly mouthed the words "Oh my…"

"I thought that too." I commented.

She took a minute to think things through properly…I prayed fervently that she might come to the same conclusion as I had, but it appeared that my usually prompt luck had finally abandoned me and she did not share in my worry.

Mores the pity.

She climbed back to her feet and offered me a hand up which I gratefully accepted. My legs didn't seem to want to obey, but this time not because of a polished floor, so I was glad for the aid she provided. For a moment we watched our fellow Razielim brutally finish off those humans who still remained and then listened to their vague voices as they joked about the whole ordeal. From windows around the courtyard could be seen the saddened and sickened expressions of the human servants we keep to perform the menial duties. As I gazed away I was aware that I had just been spoken to.

"I'm sorry…pardon?"

Calisra sighed. "Good grief, man, clean out your ears. I asked you what your orders were, the ones that you received from master Raziel. I assume he had more to say than 'do not disturb', am I correct in assuming that there is a message for the rest of us?"

"Uh…not really…guard detail is no longer necessary, obviously, and I must send runners to the other clan masters and to Lord Kain with a specific notification saying that master Raziel will reveal his evolution tomorrow at the Sanctuary of the Clans. That is all."

She placed her hands on her hips, though it was a relaxed pose with her head tilted to one side. "But nothing for us?"

"No, nothing, but I suppose it must be announced or something similar." I had never before seen an evolution nor the process that followed and so I left my favourite elder to fill in the blanks that the master had been too angry with me to deal with.

"That is what has always happened in the past." She clapped one hand to my shoulder. "Do not fret, I shall deal with the masses and you go locate those runners…and wear a smile for goodness sake; this is a time to be joyful!"

But I did not feel joyful in the slightest; I doubted most sincerely that there was anything in existence that could lift my sunken spirit. Sunken? No, it was far beyond that now, it felt as though my spirit had been drowned and then delivered into the crushing dark heart of the ocean itself. "I wish I could share in your enthusiasm." Now I was passing on the information I found that the sickening feeling only grew more intense, a cold hand gripping my stomach tightly and forcing vomit to the back of my throat that I had to choke back.

"Maddrell?" my hacking motion obviously had her concerned. "Are you feeling alright? I cannot say that, in my opinion, you look well at all."

"It is a foolish thing." I said, waving my hand dismissively…I still wasn't ready to tell her, I suppose I just predicted that she would respond in the same manner as master Raziel; with scorn.

"Foolish or no, if it is enough to make you physically sick then I shall not take it lightly. Speak to me Maddrell, remember that I am your friend as well as your elder. Let me help you or at least permit me enough knowledge to try."

"Alright." I said, finally giving in. if she did dismiss my thoughts I had nothing to loose from it but had everything to gain should she agree. "I…have a problem with all of this; a fear that I cannot shake. I do not see this development as a gift for the master; I have a growing sense that this will be the execution order for all of us. I can feel it, deep inside. Call me crazy if you will, god knows how many times you have done in the past for matters far more minor than this."

Calisra blinked and wore a confused expression. "What do you mean?" then the expression melted into a warm smile. "Oh…I see…Maddrell there is no need to fear the change. I know that seeing master Raziel so off sorts because of it is not the most reassuring of sights to behold, especially with the prospect of it one day happing to _you_, but it is natural and natural evolutions will not kill you. They would not happen if they did."

"I didn't mean it like that. It has nothing to do with the change itself, it is what Lord Kain will do when he sees it! He is cruel and vindictive…this 'gift' is not his…he'll tear the master to pieces! And us!" I could not help but begin to raise my voice to place emphasis on the issue. I couldn't care less whether the rest of the clan could hear me or not, maybe it would be better if they had. I wanted it said and done.

I was not expecting what Calisra did next. She wrapped one arm around my waist, drawing me against her and then placed her hand on the back of my head to rest it on her shoulder…effectively holding me in a position most often seen to comfort a distressed child. And in some ways, I supposed that was exactly how she saw me…a little fledgling. "Shhh," she cooed, "there is no need to get yourself so worked up. Lord Kain is indeed a man to be feared but your reasoning is irrational. He can be harsh but he is as just a ruler as any who have come before him. Have we not prospered under his guidance? You should not think such thoughts; he would never punish any for what they have no control of."

"He will not see it so." I mumbled by her right ear. I did not return the hold and I probably couldn't have even if I had wanted to. My arms were limp by my sides as I just hadn't the physical or mental energy to do anything but stew over my fear. "Please listen…the master wouldn't"

She sighed and began to stroke my hair. It was both soothing and highly annoying as it meant that she was most certainly _not _taking me seriously. "You should go to your bed and rest."

"I doubt I could find sleep even if you knocked me out cold. Calsira, please, just consider the possibility…see it from my point of view…"

She said nothing more, all she did was coo and comfort as if I had told her I was afraid of the dark or something equally immature. In the end I just couldn't take it anymore and without thinking I pushed her away hard enough to make her stumble back a good few paces but not enough to drop her to the ground.

I ran as if wild dogs were snapping at my heels, unable to even bare the prospect of glancing back at her because I knew the look that would be marring her pretty face; a mix of amusement and tragic pity for the insane little fledgling she now watched fleeing to the relative emotional safety of his room.

And that was exactly where I went and huddled in one corner, burying myself in my bed sheet and hugging the pillow like it was my only friend. I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked; a large lump of grey material with two nervous eyes peering out of one small gap. I had no concept of time while I was sitting there on the floor, though I later surmised it had been about an hour, but eventually I discarded the woollen cocoon and decided that the best thing to do was busy myself in a task; I had completely forgotten about the duty master Raziel had given me.

By the time I gathered the five runners required I discovered that Calisra had already made the announcement and I had to repeat the details of the message to them repeatedly before they ceased their elated jittering and understood that all mentions of the master's wings were out of bounds.

With them on their way I returned to my room to continue with my favourite pastime, but not even in the broken panes that I adored could I find the solace and comfort I craved. I just wanted re-assurance. Calisra told me that there was no reason for my worries yet she could give me no hard proof of that fact.

Every time I picked up a shard I found the edges cutting deep slits into the sensitive pads of my fingertips no matter how careful I tried to be. The whirls that made up my prints were left lacerated and torn as I focused on the pain to escape the more disturbing thoughts that haunted me. My own dark crimson blood stained the edges of the glass I touched and left spatters over the surfaces. But even with that I couldn't completely shake the fear and it began to seep in again as older cuts healed without a mark to make way for new and deliberately inflicted ones. In a desperate act to think and feel anything other than numbing sorrow and terror I grasped a handful of shards in my fist and crushed them into my palm.

And that was how Calisra found me, staring at the blood slick fragments embedded in one uncontrollably shaking hand while reaching blindly for more with the other. She ran over and kicked them away before grabbing both of my hands.

"Have you gone completely insane!" she yelled directly at me.

"No!" I screeched back, my voice rising and falling quite randomly in pitch as I continued…my throat felt impossibly tight and my vocal chords unwilling. "Just because I am paranoid it doesn't mean that I am _wrong_."

Light reflecting on the glass left dashes of vivid red across the walls, almost like a visual representation of the hellish prophecies in my minds eye.

She began to pull the shattered glass from the flesh I had forced them into to send pain shooting through my hand and wrist to bury my mind in primal thoughtless anguish. "You fool, you utter idiot." She scolded.

I pushed her away again and stumbled to my feet, leaving smeared bloody handprints on her shoulders and the floor as well as myself and the shards. "I am not! Don't treat me like a frightened mortal brat!"

"I've never known a fledgling to have such an extreme reaction to an evolution before." she said, seemingly to herself and sounding for all the world like she was taking notes for a psychiatric evaluation.

I ran away again, with no clue or care as to where I was headed. I ran for the sake of running, anywhere I could reach and beyond until every muscle in my body screamed in broken agony for me to stop. Every inch of me inside and out felt as though it was on fire and even when I knew that I was on the brink of ripping myself apart I could not stop…I wanted the pain, _needed _the pain. The unending physical hurt could occupy me in a way that nothing else could. I knew there was no way to outrun my fear and neither did I want to kill myself…but still…as my feet pounded on the hard ground below, sending jolts of pain through me all I wanted was to be lost, to even briefly be able to forget what had been and what I prophesised soon would be. And if that meant breaking myself then so be it.

As the sun began to fade on the horizon, my body simply gave up and shut down all in one go, refusing to continue with the torture I was forcing it to comply with. I could take no more and with a desperate wail I collapsed to the ground as I simply ceased to function…each joint giving out and letting gravity take its toll.

Paralysed with exhaustion I lay face down by a river, the name of which I did now know, surrounded by twisted trees in a place I was unable to recognise.

I thanked whatever god listened to and took pity on frightened fledgling vampires' prayers for the gift of sweet dreamless unconsciousness that soon stole over me.

-o-

I awoke to world of hurt, unsure whether it was a curse or blessing or if I was even alive. Every fibre of my being down to the last insignificant cell shrieked from the unbearable cramp and exhaustion that sill kept me motionless. When I was finally able to gather my thoughts I realised that somehow I was on my bed in my chamber…which I didn't want to be. I never slept in my bed; I always slept sitting in a corner of the room with my back jammed against the wall. Some habits are hard to get out of, and lying prone just makes me feel far too unsafe to rest.

The glaring red sprays of light on the walls were gone, as were my clothes. Whomever had brought me here, however, had been kind enough to preserve my modesty using a thin sheet that I usually reserved for the height of summer…which suited well as every one of my nerves were still burning.

"Why choose such a slow death?" I heard Calisra's voice say in the void around me that I was far too weak to turn my head in order to see. "Suicide is supposed to be a release, not a punishment."

"I don't want to die." I murmured.

"Then why do that to yourself?"

"I just…felt like running. Not dying."

"What? Do you think that you collapsed because you were tired? Maddrell, your body had begun to devour itself for lack of any other energy to use. And not only that, but have you even the faintest of ideas where we found you in the end? In _human _territory directly in the middle of a patrol route by a river that is notorious for bursting its banks. You were lucky we discovered you at all, let alone before you were seen by humans and executed while still in your self-induced coma."

"How long? How long was I out?"

"I have no idea how long you were unconscious for before we found you, but since then you've spent around six hours or so dead to the world. I find it utterly amazing that you are awake, I would expect a person in your position to be comatose for twenty four hours at the very least."

Against everything that my body wished and even my common sense I forced protesting muscles to move again, awkwardly dragging myself bit by bit into a sitting position…shaking uncontrollably and having to bite down on my tongue to prevent the scream that had welled in the back of my mouth. That one act had sucked the energy right back out of me and I was left feeling like I had climbed a mountain.

"Stop that." Calisra snapped. "Lie back down this instant."

Now that I was relatively upright I could see Calisra rise from the chair positioned near the door from which I assumed she had been watching me. She stood by my bedside and glared into my pained eyes. It was plain to see that she was furious, but behind that she also had a look of concerned protectiveness. She was actually worried about me…

"Lie down, Maddrell." She demanded.

"No." I grunted and attempted to clamber out of bed even though the strain sent fresh blade of pain shooting through me, setting my nerves alight.

My progress was sharply halted as she roughly slammed her palm against my chest and pushed me back down. "Are you _trying_ to make this more difficult for yourself? I will tie you to the bed if need be."

My head flopped back against the pillow and I grimaced as the pain crawled around me again. I wanted to cry…not just from what had just been happening. This situation I was presently in brought back bad memories.

She sighed. "What has happened to you?"

"Nothing…I saw sense…and am I the only one!" I growled through gritted teeth.

She slowly shook her head, in a manner that mean she was either disappointed or more worried than I had initially observed. Did she truly believe that I was gripped with some kind of madness? "I am going to leave you now," she said slowly and deliberately in a hushed tone, "and if there is enough of you left in that skull to know what is good for you, you shall stay put and lie still until you are well. I can only hope that this sickness will depart. I will return shortly, but there is business to which I must attend."

And with that she was gone, leaving nothing more than empty, disturbed air in her stead.

Stay put and lay still…those words brought a cold chill to me for all the wrong reasons…but that was beside the point.

I'm sorry, Calisra, but that is something I just cannot do. There must be others; I refuse to believe that I am the only one who can understand the danger. I doubted that there was any way to stop the master, so what _could_ I do? I supposed that I could just run again, but this time pace myself and actually have a destination in mind. It _was_ possible to outrun my fear, or at least the cause and consequence of it; I could find a safe place and stay there…and bring the others. There had to be others who were not so blinded by their devotion.

I had an overwhelming urge to laugh at myself. What was I planning? A mass migration? An exodus? To where? All of Nosgoth was Kain's and a clan of nomadic Razielim were not going to go unnoticed.

Maybe I _had _gone mad.

Mad Maddrell.

And yet…

It did seem plausible. It was a plan with, ultimately, few drawbacks. If my assumptions were terribly correct and Lord Kain did fly into a fit of uncontrolled rage then we would be far beyond his fury when it was vented…and on the other hand, if everything proved to be a fevered delusion and passed without event we could venture home while I pleaded insanity as the cause of my actions.

All right, so let us plan this properly. I would need a place to go and a route to take, as well as having to be able to make travelling as inconspicuous as possible to deflect unwanted attention. Belongings would need to be taken and stopping points planned for rest and feeding, as it would be impractical to drag humans around with us.

But there would need to be _us_ first. I was going to have to move. Even the thought of moving hurt, yet it was going to have happen no matter what my body wanted.

It took every ounce of self-control I had to call upon to roll myself out of the bed, only to find that my legs just weren't quite ready and buckled beneath me. Yet again I was kissing the ground with my limbs tangled in the bed sheet. I know that at that point I screamed something, but I hurt too much to recall exactly what…I just know that the cry of frustration and panic left my throat raw.

Panting, for no reason except it made me feel better, I dragged myself back up again bit by bit using the bed to support my weight when my body could not until I was vertical again. Doing all I could to ignore the pain and the debilitating ache I forced myself to dress…hissing as I did so. If there was anyone in the hall outside they would be having some rather strange thoughts as to what I was doing due to all the sound effects.

Fully clothed and with the most stoic expression I could muster to cover my agony I slowly inched my way out of my room and down the hall, determined to do all that I could.

I spoke to everyone I came across without exception and told them what I felt they desperately needed to know…but it did not matter in the slightest who listened for none agreed. I always received the same response, they all called me paranoid, some called me a fool, others questioned my sanity and some even went as far as to mention that I was not looking too well. There were a couple who even felt sorry for me and offered to help me to my room or to find someone to eat but that was all…they all dismissed me in some way or another. I felt the last of my hope dissolve in my misery. Was that it? Is that how it was to end?

Exhausted yet again from merely walking around, I leant against the nearest wall I could find to gather some energy back…though I can't say it really did me any good, it made me feel better for trying. There was nothing else I could do. In an hour, or so I had now been told, master Raziel would head for the Sanctuary of the Clans and confront his sire and brothers…and he would die…I could feel it.

Hang it all, I didn't care if he punished me for insolence; I had to at least try one more time to make him see sense.

His chamber was not too far from where I had ended up and so I made my way there as casually as I could, so as not to attract attention. Hopefully no-one would think that I would be doing anything more than going for a stroll. I didn't want it to be easy for Calisra to find me when she discovered what I had already been up to; let alone what I now planned to do.

The master's main chamber was not guarded but the heavy doors were closed. Leaning against the thick wood I could hear him shuffling about inside…thank goodness. He sounded alone.

I knocked hesitantly.

"Who disturbs me?" I heard his voice filter through the wood, harsh and demanding.

"Maddrell, master." I called back.

There was a pause before he spoke again. "Enter."

And I did so, opening one door by a fraction before slinking inside and closing it behind me. I quickly surveyed the room for any other presences but found it to be as empty as I had hoped; just the master and myself. He stood dressed only from the waist down on the other side of the room, flexing his wings; seemingly still orienting himself with his new appendages. I watched in fascination as a slow ripple of muscle under the skin of his back caused the wings to furl and unfurl in a most dramatic manner. I could not help but be awed, even in the face of my fear. They were not the fragile scraps of skin and softened bones they had been before, though they did still have the look of things that could be broken quite easily should someone set their mind to it.

"Have you come to apologise?" he asked off-handly, more interested in the strange new sensations than the fledgling who had entered looking and sounding ready to collapse at the slightest touch. And indeed I felt a light breeze would have bowled me over.

"No, master. I've come to beg you to listen to what I said before. Please don't go."

_That_ got his attention. He span around.

"_Maddrell_," he said in a warning tone, "leave it there. Turn around and walk away and speak no more on the subject before I loose my patience with you."

"I can't. I won't. I have to make you see reason. If you go you shall die, and we shall fall swiftly after. I know I can give you no evidence, I am no sage or soothsayer, but this I feel with all my soul. I am begging you to listen to me-"

I didn't have time to utter another word, in a split second he had crossed the room and struck my face, leaving my thoughts reeling and my body again on the floor. Perhaps I should consider _staying_ on the floor; I seem to spend a lot of time down there.

"Now will you be silent, _boy_?"

I cringed at the named he called me. He _knew_ I hated to be addressed in such a manner. But little did he know that his outburst had only given me more ammunition.

"You see; even you are willing to assault one of your children for merely saying something that displeases you. Now imagine how Lord Kain will be, with his frayed temper, when you approach looking like _that_. You know I'm right!"

"Calisra told me that you had grown worse since last we spoke but I did not dare to believe you would be like this. What madness drives you to near suicide and these fatalistic hallucinations?"

"I am not sick. This is no disease of the mind. This is a gut feeling based on all I have seen and known. Please don't go…please." I felt my throat tighten and eyes begin to sting…god no…I can't cry…not now… "_Please!_"

Master Raziel crouched beside me where I still lay. "Why are you so persistent?" He asked, his tone softened.

"Master…you saved me…I must do what I can to protect you in return."

"I saved all my children." He told me. "All were rescued from the bonds of mortality and their fragile human shells to become something greater."

I shook my head. "You know what I mean…"

He drew in a breath and then sighed. "Yes, I know. It was far more to you, and I realise you must feel indebted."

Master Raziel was the only one who new the truth about me. He knew why I slept with my back to the wall, why the thought of nakedness repulsed and sometimes even frightened me, why I sometimes barricaded my door at night… It wasn't that I had a dirty little secret; I _was_ the dirty little secret. But not any more…he changed that. If angels existed, he had to be one of them and if not then he was still my rescuer regardless. I owed him far more than my mere life…

My human past was one long nightmare. My mother died giving birth to me and my father was completely inept at childrearing, I was brought up mainly by a neighbour who had two sons of her own. Eventually my father and I moved to a smaller village as vampires had begun to show interest in our previous home. But the move left us penniless, homeless and hungry. At the age of six my father was confronted by two men who offered to take me off his hands and he was given a large sum of money for his co-operation. He was vaguely reluctant to let me go, he may have been a useless father but he was my father all the same. The men assured him I would be looked after and that their sister, who was incapable of bearing her own children, wanted to care for me after seeing me suffering on the street with my old man. And off I went with them. They kept a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my belly…what more could a child want? That question is easily answered. A child would not want this arrangement at the price of sharing the bed they gave him in a back room of a sordid brothel with any man who came to call whether he wanted to or not. Night after night I was torn apart and there was barely a day when I could walk straight or not cry. I ended most weeks with internal trauma that would be fixed by a local healer so I could go about my 'duty'. And that was my life; I quickly learned to forget that I might ever have had any dignity because if I tried to pretend I did it only made my visitors harder to come to terms with. I learn to shut down and let them do as they pleased as the more I struggled and cried the worse they were. The more obedient I was the less likely they were to tie me down, but half of the time the sick bastards _enjoyed _it when I begged them to stop. I saved my tears for when I was alone. I tolerated that existence for fourteen years because I was too afraid of them all to try and get away, but in the end I did fight back. At twenty years old I bit down hard when I shouldn't have and then spent the next hour being beaten senseless, dragged out into the woods nearby and forced into a small crate, the lid of which they nailed shut. Then they buried me and left me, whether it was a punishment or to kill me I do not know…all I do know is that I screamed and pleaded for them to let me out, yelled out into the night that I would be good, that I would never do what I did again, that I would comply to everything that was demanded off me if only they would let me out. I begged like a child down there in the dark, slowly running out of air with every shout and movement but it was not they who dug me up again. When the soil was scraped away and the lid torn from the crate it was a pale, elegant face, with black lips and hair that stared down at me. He hauled me out of there, my naked body covered in sweat, blood, dirt and streaming tears. He asked me why I had been buried alive, I told him, and he wrapped me in his cloak and led me away. That same night I was reborn a vampire and I have never regretted it.

He saved me and so I could not just let him throw his life away. If there was any way I could stop this; I would.

"Master…please…"

"Get up, Maddrell. Go back to your chamber and sleep; you are not well. When I return later today you will see that your fears are misplaced. Go sleep and have your nightmares if you must, and when you wake all will be well; you will see." He helped me to my feet.

"Master…" I whimpered one last time.

"Go, Maddrell." He told me kindly as he led me to the door and encouraged me back into the hall.

"Yes, master." I mumbled.

As the door closed, I was sure I saw a small smile of pity on his face, that face which was once outlined by the moon as I watched him free me through tear stung eyes and muddy locks of hair. Man…vampire…angel…master…he was going off to die and would unwittingly take us with him.

And I could not stop him.

To be continued –

_Author's Note – There, see, I told you it wasn't too graphic. Hope I haven't put anyone off. Oh, what to say, what to say, I always get stuck doing these bits…so why do I? I ask myself, to which I reply; because it's only polite to thank the people who suffer through my recorded madness. Hmm…perhaps I should stop talking to myself…_

_Replies!_

BiOhAzArD – _Calm thyself. I wasn't expecting this to do all that well anyway; it's almost purely OCs. I'm just glad I can still make out a few old faces following through. _

The Twisted Sister – _Welcome back! Thank you for the review and thank you for following through! Have cookie!_

Smoke – _Yay, you came back! Huzzah! Maddrell is just a very paranoid little thing. After what he went through he craves safety. When something happens to make changes to his little world or threaten its hub (ie beloved master Raziel) he automatically assumes the worst and blows it all out of proportion with an overactive and somewhat skewed imagination. All in all he's simply extremely scared and the years of abuse have made his thoughts irrational when it comes to things that might be even slightly bad for him. But he'll go through changes as the fic progresses and the Maddrell of BtE will emerge._

Chicken-Chan – _Yeah, I stuck with the title…dunno why…makes it sound like it's about a seriously cheesy superhero or something…_o.o

Varyssa – _You came too! Thank you so much! Cookies, cookies, cookies! Wish I had something more interesting to say but hey-ho, never mind. Glad you liked that line. I'm trying t get a bit of the personality of the BtE Maddrell into this one._

Hawk6 – _A new face! Welcome, welcome, sit down and enjoy. Me so happy to see you're excited as there's no point in carrying on posting if there isn't anyone waiting to read. Thankee muchly!_

_Well, I'm done for this update. Hope to see you again._

_Bye bye for now._


	3. C 03 Don't Look Back

Chapter Three: Don't Look Back

After being gently evicted from the master's room you might have expected me to drop to my knees and cry in despair…but no…all of _that_ emotion was gone; every single last drop, every whisper, all of it.

All I had inside me now was anger; even my pain and exhaustion could not match it, could not cover or quell it. It rose from a furnace deep inside and filled me until I was on the brink of exploding…I felt like there was now something wild inside me trying to claw its way out.

Not here.

I hurried back to my room, not caring how may people I knocked into or nearly pushed over in my haste. Straight to my room where I slammed the door closed so hard it bounced off the frame and shuddered open again. Again I threw it at the opening it was designed to fill and this time it actually stayed put. With my hands bunched into tight bloodless fists I glared into nothingness while recalled every face that had dismissed my warning.

Fools! Bloody fools! Even the master!

The crazed animal raging away in my chest was desperate for release and I granted its wish, I let my rage freely posses my form and take out all frustrations on my surroundings. I know not exactly what I did; I know I screamed, I _roared,_ I know all I could see was a red haze and anything I touched became a victim of my fury.

My mind only cleared when I could hear claws pounding on my door that had somehow come to be blocked by the bed that I had thrown against it.

Apart from the bed being on its side and obstructing the door, the chair was in splinters, the wardrobe was well and truly broken with terminal looking splits and cracks in the woodwork while both of its doors had somehow found themselves sailing serenely out of the window, closely followed by a table lamp. The table that the aforementioned lamp had previously sat upon was now upside-down against one wall with most of its panels kicked in. Clothes were strewn about the room from various broken drawers as well as random belongings that had accumulated over the five years I had called the place my own…feathers floated in the air like warm snow from the split pillows.

Did I…just…throw…a tantrum?

I was called back from my reverie by the continued pounding on the door, which was now accompanied by Calisra's voice.

"Maddrell! Open this door before I break it off its hinges! This is your final warning! Answer me! Maddrell?"

I tossed the mangled bed aside as easily as if it were paper and then snatched the door open.

When she looked at me her eyes went wide and in those two deep dark pools I saw my own reflection…I looked like I was going to pounce on and gut the next person who spoke, my eyes were flared in anger, feathers stuck out of my hair and were caught in my clothes, my hands flexed in and out of fists…and I didn't care.

"What!" I barked, wondering whether it had actually been a real word that was expelled from my throat and not just some primal grunt to express my displeasure.

Her eyes traced from my face to the scene behind me and back again.

"What have you done?" she asked, disbelief hanging on every syllable.

"Go away, Calisra." I told her, fighting for control of my temper. I refused to lash out at one of my fellow Razielim. Their stupidity could drive me to tears and to fury but there was no need to hurt them for it, especially not my dear Calisra; the closest person to a best friend and mother that I had had all my life.

She looked at me for a long while with an unreadable expression on her face…it wasn't fear, that much was certain because she knew that she was capable of dealing with anything I could throw at her no matter what mental state I was in. Perhaps there was some pity, some confusion and maybe even a spark of sadness or regret…as if she was now convince my mind was forever lost and she blamed herself for not doing more about it.

She shook her head but said nothing, turning smartly on her heels and marching away to who knows where to tell whoever she met there that I was quite utterly mad and something had to be arranged to deal with the problem…or so I thought. I have no idea where she was going or what she was doing but if I were in her place that would most likely be what I would do; throw the crazy man into solitary confinement behind a very thick door and let him talk to himself.

How comforting…

Alone again I faced back into my room and searched my mind for any other answers I could offer myself. No one would go with me…but did that mean that I was incapable of going alone?

As this crossed my thoughts I sat down heavily in the middle of the doorframe. Go alone? Run away? Did I _dare_? It would be so easy to just grab hold of one of my now slightly shredded blankets, curl into a corner and sleep. It would be so utterly simple to just convince myself of what everyone else suspected; that I was paranoid and mentally unstable. I could live with that, I supposed…just lie to myself and pretend that all would be well. But if it wasn't and my fear became reality I would have only myself to blame for the sorrow.

I buried my fingers in my hair…_what _was I going to do!

Perhaps, after all of this, it really was time to just…go.

Rising back to my feet I rummaged in the displaced items around my room and pushed aside broken furnishing until I came across the battered dark leather satchel I generally used to carry the broken panes that I discover home. After dusting the feathers out of my hair I scrambled together a small pile of clothes which after a second thought I folded neatly before slipping them into the satchel, followed by the blanket with the fewest tears in it that I could find. I was about to buckle the flap down when the real weight of what I was about to do suddenly descended upon me. It wasn't just that I would be going away for a little while, I wasn't taking a break…I was really going for good. Inside this one bag would be the only things I could take with me, as I could not afford to be slowed down by vast quantities of heavy items. Looking back to the contents, it really hit me…just clothes and a blanket, nothing to remind me of what I was leaving. But then again, did I _want _to be reminded?

Twisting to my left slightly I gazed over my scattered belongings. Open on the floor with its pages fluttering in the breeze from the window was a book that one of the elders had given to me to help pass the time…not ten inches away from which was the remains of a model sailing ship that another had made and given to me. On the walls were portraits and landscapes others had painted, drawn and passed my way, some from real life and some from images in their minds. And other things were dotted around the place; things too numerous to list that held sentimental values I had never acknowledged before this moment. All these items, however damaged now due to my fit of immature rage, linked me to dozens of people who had become part of the good in my life I had only recently gained. So many people who I had never realised meant so much to me. When I was first introduced to this place, I thought I would never be able to trust anyone ever again. Hah, look at me now…already mourning…

I looked back to my satchel. There was a little space left, perhaps, for something small. Leaning over and reaching out lazily I flipped the book closed and slid it closer, tracing the slightly rough and dog eared cover and binding. It was nothing special, just a little fiction novel written by some old human which detailed near all of life's pleasures and pitfalls in an astoundingly sophisticated and realistic manner incorporated into a compelling plot. Or at least…that is what I had been told. I had never actually gotten around to reading it. I slipped it in between the clothes and the blanket and then quickly fastened the leather bag shut before I tried to fit the whole room inside.

I didn't know where I would go, how I would find places to feed or how I would cope in any way shape or form in the hostile environment that was Nosgoth.

I shook my head hard enough to cause to it ache to clear _that_ thought. Planning ahead only made room for greater error in my opinion because, surely, if you had no plan then nothing could actually go wrong as any bad event would have nothing to compare to or effect...right? I was going and that was final. On a whim…a fear…I was going to leave my whole life behind. A chilling prospect.

Rising to my feet I swapped the light shoes I had previously been wearing for heavy boots; a pair of such disreputable appearance I rarely wore them when in the presence of others. But they had good thick soles and were both old enough to be comfortably worn in yet new enough to have a nice long wear time left in them. They were my favourite even though they were scuffed to hell…I always forgot to polish them, and never left them out for the servants to deal with either.

With that done and satchel neatly hanging by me side I went over to select a cloak from the three that I owned; one thin, hoodless sandy brown thing for summer, one of waterproofed leather with heavy wool lining for winter and one of medium weight with a cowl which was a stunning white with black embroidered knot work patterns around the edge and black silk lining. I had only used that last one for comfort before now. Collecting it from where it had pooled on the floor I flung it around my shoulders and fastened it about my neck with the silver clasp that bore the clan symbol. I would need comfort more than anything else and this cloak also represented safety to me. It was the cloak that master Raziel had wrapped me in when he pulled me from that shallow grave. It had been washed since then, of course, to clean it of the dirt, blood, and tears…

Perhaps it would be a mistake to take it as it was not exactly practical and it was a terribly obvious reminder of my dear (foolish) master but I was so loath to leave it. If worst came to the worst I could steal another cloak but _this _was irreplaceable and if nothing else it would at least help me to sleep, just as it used to when I first took residence here.

Taking one last gaze over the room I was to abandon a metallic glint caught my eye amidst the pile of wood fragments that had previously been a chest of drawers. Curiosity and nostalgia winning me over I prised from the wreckage a silver pocket watch. It was a testament to my poor memory. Calisra had given it to me in my first year as a vampire. When newly turned, fledglings generally spend set hours of the day and night shadowing their sire or an elder to take lessons from them. Master Raziel was largely too busy though did try to see me when he could, so it was Calisra whom I found myself being schooled by. I was notorious for missing sessions due to never knowing the time, so she presented me with this ornately decorated little device so I would have no further excuses. I brushed my thumb over the delicate engraving on its casing before slipping it into one trouser pocket. Ever since it was placed in my hand I had never forgotten to wind it and it kept good time; it might come in useful…and it would cause me to recall Calisra in those happy, close and caring times of sugar smiles rather than my most recent vision of her; turning from me with an ugly mask of pity and sorrow.

With a heavy feeling of guilt sweeping through me and consuming me, settling like a lump of lead in the pit of my stomach…finally an emotion that could purge my physical pain…I walked at a determined pace away from my life, taking a path that would lead me into the open air. Vaguely I acknowledged that a portion of the guilt was for the servants who would have to clear and clean my room. I always left it so tidy before it may well come as quite a shock to them.

That daft little truth brought something of a smile to me, which undoubtedly helped in my exit of the territory. If my fellow Razielim were to see the troublemaking clown of the family with an expression of deep troubled sorrow they would begin to take my earlier frantic outbursts seriously and quite possibly hold me back. If I was going to successfully go through with this then I could not afford to allow any such occurrence. It was already hard enough for me to come to terms with the severity of my intentions and the reasoning behind them, and I still prayed that in a week or so I could wander back with my metaphorical tail between my legs and receive another ear bashing from the master as well as an opportunity to make grovelling apology to both him and Calisra. I did _not_ need to be talked out of it now.

But it would be completely foolish to believe that no one at all would take notice of me. While pausing ever so briefly to adjust the position of my cloak I found myself to be in the perfect spot to be the unfortunate victim of an accidental assault. A figure stumbled out of the shadows of a turning, tripped over his own feet and slammed headlong into me, involuntarily and instinctively grabbing my waist for support. With much effort (that I would rather have saved) I just about managed to keep upright and not drop yet another time and was able to take a better look at the person who had all but bowled me over.

"I'm s-s-sorry" a voice stuttered in the region of my navel, still hugging my midriff for support.

"Who are you and what is this all about!" I snapped purely out of annoyance at being interrupted. I just prayed he was younger than me or I would soon be getting one hell of an earful. Grabbing him by the shoulders I pulled him off and straightened him up.

"I'm s-sorry, I tr-tr-tripped." With every word he spoke his face creased up with the effort of trying not to stumble on every syllable and his head bobbed sometimes as if he had to persuade them out of his throat. The longer it took him to complete each word, the more upset he looked.

Now that he wasn't clinging to me I could see that he bore the symbol of clan master Melchiah on his shirt as well as the changes in complexion and neat stitches running over his skin where it had been replaced. Well, no wonder this stutter-inflicted boy (he could be no more than seventeen when turned) was attempting to look meek in my presence. He was the youngest son of Lord Kain's youngest, while I was a child of his firstborn. I recognised him now; his name was Darent, the newest fledgling of the Melchahim clan. He tended to hang around territories other than his own because his immediate family had a habit of teasing him because of the speech impediment his original human birth had thrown at him.

"Well, make sure you don't do it again. Be more careful to take note of where you are going and what you are doing. You're just lucky it was me you charged into and not an elder."

"S-s-sorry. Uh…you're M-m-maddrell, aren't y-you?"

He knew me? How? I know I have seen him around the place but I also know that I never spoke to him. I knew his name only because it was unusual for other clan members to come alone to our territory and so information about Darent passed quickly between us all. The place is always rife with gossip. "Yes, that's right. What of it?"

"I heard of your bout of h-hy-hysteria earlier. I've n-n-not been here l-long but news tr-tr-travels fast. Are you alright?"

"I could not help myself when my emotions overtook me before but I am alright now, thank you."

"P-people seem to be w-w-orried."

"Indeed? I don't know what came over me. All I can do is apologise if I have upset anyone with my behaviour. Now if you'll please excuse me, I really must be on my way."

"Where are you g-g-going?" the frown on his face was exaggerated by lines of sutures beginning at the corners of his mouth and reaching down his chin and neck to disappear under the collar of his shirt.

"Out. Don't trouble yourself with details. You should return home."

I stepped passed him without a second glance and walked away without giving any sound or movement that would provoke him into following me. In a way I was very lucky that it was only a fledgling Melchahim that made me halt, as anyone else would have tried to keep me longer and really question me after I had been running around like I'd escaped from an insane asylum.

No one else tried to stop me in any way shape or form and I was well and truly on my way out into the wilds of Nosgoth.

It's a strange thing to admit, but each step that I took brought to be increasing levels of conflicting emotions. The predominant one was unease and the secondary can only be described as relief. It would be impossible to put it into any fully understandable terms. On the one hand I felt truly ashamed that I could allow fear to so easily overcome me and make me willingly abandon my home, family and master…but on the other hand, the more distance I put between there and myself the _safer _I felt.

South…the thought bloomed in my mind and I realised that it had been there for a while now like a rare but dull little flower unnoticed amidst a field full of bright, thorny, common roses.

Far to the south of Nosgoth was the sea and beyond that vast expanse of water would be lands that Lord Kain did not have possession or control of. It was known that the humans had trade routes to lands beyond Nosgoth; perhaps there was a chance of me reaching one of the more ignored continents. A sea crossing is a practically fatal journey for a vampire but not _definitely. _A scrap of habitable land surrounded by salty water would be better than any guarded fort or hidden cave, and it also provided the prospect of being able to live comfortably and relatively normally until such a time as I felt it right to return, if I returned.

I breathed a heavy sigh of slight relief now my thoughts were focused and continued on my way…south.

-o-

In the end I concluded that the going would be so much easier if I were not making this trip on foot, and so made something of a short detour in the direction of the nearest human settlement. It wasn't difficult to locate, as all I needed to do was follow the sharp scent of humanity to its closest source. I stayed hidden and took the first horse I came across before anyone could even think of stopping me and I was long gone before they even realised what had happened. Unfortunately, in my haste I had chosen to steal what must have been the most foul tempered beast they had, which wasn't aided by the fact that it only had a bridal; no bloody saddle. I was going to be sore when I was done with this bastard of an equine...horrible dappled thing that huffed every time I tired to properly control it.

Eventually we seemed to work out a silent agreement and so long as I didn't push it too hard and let it eat as it went, it did as I bid it…which was nice. Though I would have given anything for a saddle; even if hadn't bee a vampire I doubted I could produce offspring after this trip. Hnh, maybe I just didn't have the technique for bareback riding. I had only learnt the basics last year; it had been one of Calisra's bright ideas.

There is not much that can be said about the journey south, just a few arguments with the horse which I usually lost; one time I nearly ended up being dropped into a patch of brambles and I'm positive both myself and my cloak would have been shredded if it were not for how tightly I held on to the evil creature's neck. Gnarled trees, yellowing grass and dying landscape littered with settlements of stone and timber passed by without need for any real comment and the only things that are worthy of mention are the darkening of the sky as night descended and the transition of scents. The human odour never really changed, but the scent of vampires lessened the further south I ventured… it was in direct proportion to the increase of the salty undertones in the breeze which I knew would be blowing over the sea and onto dry land.

And then the docks were in sight.

First of all my eyes were greeted only by a row of wooden shack-like structures which blocked my view of everything else I could hear, like human chatter and the screech of wheeling gulls. But the most obvious being the terrifying sound of the waves, so close, rolling over the soft sand. The sky above, I noticed now, had made a dramatic change; the smoke of the great furnaces did not reach here and for the first time in my life I saw diamond starts glinting in their constellations on a canvas of uncorrupted cobalt blue rather than the dusty, dark, blank haze I was used to. And the moon; a brilliant silver disc watching over those starts like a protective parent they would follow obediently back over the horizon that I had only before ever known as a hazy dull glow behind the forced smog. I had never realised that the night was so…beautiful. I felt a shock of anger roll within me; how _dare_ Lord Kain poison such a thing? Looking behind me in the direction from whence I came I saw the pollution he had ordered hanging over his precious dying land like a bad omen, a thick mass of rot waiting to settle and take its terrible toll.

With a shudder I turned my head back to the coast and slipped off of the horse…which pleased both it and me. Leaning back on a tree I paused to let my stiff legs grow used to not straddling the damnable thing so I wouldn't have to suffer the ridiculous walk. But as soon as that was out of the way I allowed the horse to go off and do its own thing and I slunk off between two of the shacks to take in my surroundings and plan my next move.

Though I feared it, I could not help but feel some awe for the sea; reflecting the rich, deep shade of the sky with liquid silver sparking over its swells and crests. It lapped smoothly against the sand, softening and washing away the footprints of the dozen or so men trudging to and fro from a ship docked out at one sturdy wooden jetty. They were lugging crates, barrels and goods from organised piles on the sand and from inside the shacks a short way from me. Burning torches were driven into the sand to provide light to work by, as well as there being a few brighter lamps set down at ground level.

The ship was being loaded with supplies but I knew not where it was headed. For all I knew it may just be travelling to another port of Nosgoth. It was the only one there, a tea clipper, I think, but I may be wrong as I am by no means nautically minded. It reminded me of the model one I had left behind. I wanted to be able to go as soon as physically possible because in this place with no protection from the rays of the sun I doubted I could live through the morning. I was incredibly lucky that the sun had set as I had traversed the land southwards, or I would have been feeling it already. This was turning out to be a lot more dangerous that I had first thought. I was not sure if sunlight would kill me or not as we had always lived under the smoke…but I had no desire to find out the hard way. It would seem that I would have to revert to how humans had perceived vampires long ago; creatures who could only walk among the shadows and feared the light of day.

What a depressing prospect.

I rubbed eyes, somewhat tired…I would think about something like that later; I had a hooded cloak and that would protect me for now should I end up caught without shade. What I needed to focus on at this present moment in time was finding out where that ship was going and if it would grant me passage to relative peace of mind.

So, first thing first, how was I going to gather the information I required? Only at the first hurdle and I was already stumped. That didn't exactly bode well for my future, now did it?

I couldn't just stroll up to someone and ask…could I? No, that was a ridiculous idea, all that I would achieve would be a lot of shouting, and panicking and flying crossbow bolts. And I can't say that I was desperately fond of any of those things especially when said bolts were aimed in my direction. Well…it wasn't as if there was any other way to find out where the ship was going until it was too late. I was going to have to ask. I felt so pathetic, knowing I was going to be relying on humans for information …but what other choice did I have?

Talking to a human would mean facing one, which in turn meant I could not let them see that I was a vampire. Is it just me, or does this seem hopeless? There is no way in a million years that they will fail to spot my pointed ears, golden eyes and fangs, not to mention the pallor of my skin or the pitch black of my hair. I suddenly wished I had gown my hair out like I had thought about doing a while back, as that was I could have hidden my ears. The best I could do was to flip my hood up and bring it forward to cover my head and shade my face…and pray they would see I had fingers and leave it at that. Most humans assumed we all had claws of the bony three digit variety, not realising they were acquired later in life as a result of the Change.

After steadying myself with a long intake of warm night air and hiding the clan symbol on the cloak's clasp by neatly wrapping a handkerchief around it I stepped out from between the two shacks and approached one of the men who were still loading the craft. Something over six foot tall with short brown hair and steel grey eyes, the shirtless human male was easily distinguishable from his fellows by two scars on his stomach and a large tribal tattoo that looked almost like wings adorning a good portion of his back, as well as spilling over his shoulders and partially down his chest. He made to grab hold of a barrel that I assumed would have water in it to drink on the journey.

"Excuse me." I called to halt him.

He paused half way down to it and rose back up again, sans barrel. He looked towards me, a strange man in rich clothes, with shadow-hidden features. No doubt he felt something was amiss and both his posture and tone of voice confirmed this. "Sir? You want something?"

"Can you tell me where this vessel is headed?"

The man glanced back to the ship and then focused again on me, studying me. "Akatra." He said simply.

I shuffled from foot to foot as his visual scrutiny was making me highly uncomfortable. I cannot say that I have heard if this Akatra place, which meant it could most certainly not be part of Nosgoth and that was good enough for me. "Will it take passengers?"

"Sorry, but not at the moment. This trip is purely for trade, but when we return we'll be taking on board travellers again. It's highly unlikely, however, that you'll find a place. A lot of people have already planned to sail next trip and we have to let them on first as they've paid in advance. Migration to Akatra has become pretty popular."

"Why is that?" I queried. The men around us who were still working were giving their tattooed fellow looks that suggested they were not best pleased that he had found a legitimate excuse to take a break.

"No vampires in Akatra, sir." He said matter-of-factly. "No Kain. I doubt he even knows that the place exists. It's a small island with little in the way of natural resources that can be spared but they produce some excellent clothes dyes. You used to be able to rely on the place to give iron ore as well, but after a series of accidents the mines were abandoned. That was about…oh, ten years ago I'd say."

No vampires at all? Was that even possible? But that though came second to two other words he had told me; _No Kain_. Dream come true, or too good to be true? "So, there is no way of getting there tonight?"

"No chance, sorry." He said with an apologetic shrug.

It was then that a pebble scooped up from the beach was thrown at him by one of the other men who had finally reached the peak of his annoyance. "Ridwan! Will you get back to work? We need to get going as soon as possible! We've heard word there's some vampire nearby; we can't afford to have them find out where we're going when it's out only safe haven."

"This close to the sea?" Ridwan called back, rubbing his head where the pebbled had struck him.

"Not sure. I highly doubt it but you never know. Now move!"

"Alright! I heard you the first time." He then turned back to me.

Before he had a chance to get a word out I figured it was high time I tested out my acting skills. I glanced nervously from side to side. "Are you sure that there's no way at all for me to get on that ship…I can't bare the thought of spending another night here. Every time the sun goes down I feel it'll be the last time I see it. I just want to be safe." And in a way it wasn't a lie.

Ridwan sighed. "I wish I could help but I can't let you on board. You should go home. I'm sorry, sir." He grabbed the barrel and moved away to get on with his job.

I turned on my heels and headed back to the shacks. Retreating to collect together my new knowledge.

Akatra, an island I had never heard of because its existence seemed to be carefully shielded by humanity, was free of the people I was so desperate to avoid and was across the sea. There was a ship going to it but I wouldn't be allowed on board…and they were on to me; they would be looking out for a vampire now. What I had told Ridwan was true, I _was_ afraid to be here. I had to get on board that ship no matter what.

_To be continued……_

_Author's Note – Chapter 3…also known as 'Maddrell has a hissy fit' and 'the cameo appearance' (Guess who. Clue; it's not Darent, but cookies go to anyone who remember him from BtE anyway).Sorry its late but I forgot to proof read it, and even now there are probably mistakes. Still thanking Biohazard for being my muse._

_Well…the brains behind FF dot Net, in their infinite wisdom, have seen fit to say that it is no longer allowed to put replies to reviews in chapters so…I'm sorry…I'll have to stop…If you are logged in and haveyour reply thingy enabled I'll send my thanks via that…if you don't have an account but want a reply, let me know a way to contact you…otherwise…there's nothing more I can do. Thanks to anyone who is reading this and uber thanks to the few who saw fit to review. _

_Bye for now._


	4. C 04 All Aboard

Chapter Four: All Aboard

Sneaking on board the ship would be quite a feat as my options were severely limited. A human might be able to get on board via the side not being used by the crew to load, but being a vampire I was unable to go through the water. I couldn't pretend to be someone else by knocking out a crewman and taking his place as they seemed to all know each other by sight and sound like family. I had to get on board without being seen or heard which raised the prospect of having to suffer the indignity of doing the blindingly obvious; have them unwittingly take me on board by smuggling myself on as cargo. But I found myself unable to do that as well and not just because the cliché was almost too much to bear. I crept into one of the shacks they were removing some of the large crates from and easily peeled the lid from one of them. It was full of plain cloth…more than likely being sent to be dyed…which was the work of but a moment to remove and shuffle into a corner to be hidden.

With fingers curled around the edge, I leant over slightly and looked down into the empty space, just a few feet square. The shadows in the corners looked almost solid…the dark would be more claustrophobic that the actual limitations of the physical space. This crate…was…just…like…

'_I'm sorry!'_

No…it wasn't the same. I _knew_ it wasn't the same. It couldn't be the same because I had gone back and found it and burned it. I had watched it fall apart into flakes of ash in front of me and I enjoyed watching it. It was warm. If I got into this crate I knew I could break out any time I wanted; I was strong enough, now, to rip it to shreds from the inside. I wouldn't hear soil being dumped by the shovel-full on top of it…I wouldn't feel the odd sprinkles of dirt trickling over my face and into my open screaming mouth…I wouldn't be down there for a time I couldn't count, I wouldn't be left buried under the ground with the shadows beginning to whisper to me…I wouldn't…

'_Please! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!…… Let me out! Please, please I'll do anything you ask! Let me out… let me out!… I'll never complain, I'll never struggle just please let me out! Don't do this!'_

No! No I couldn't…it was just the same…I couldn't bring myself to get any closer…

I stuffed the cloth back in without thinking, ramming the lid back into place. There was no way I would be able to make myself get inside that thing. I'd rather jump into the sea and burn, I would prefer hurling myself into the Abyss…

'_Please! It's hard to breathe!'_

I tore out of that shelter before my own remembered voice could evoke any more fear than it already had.

Running as silently as it was possible for me to do I disappeared back behind the rough shelters, facing away from the beach. Dropping my bag with a muffled thump to the ground I bent over with my hands on my knees and vomited as the sickened sensation finally manifested into a physical reaction. After spilling what little my stomach contained over the sand where it sank in to create a disgusting reddened mush I dry heaved for a little while; producing nothing more than copious amounts of saliva until my mouth was bone dry and my throat sore.

Damn it…I hope no one heard that.

After a few more coughs, leaving my stomach muscles and diaphragm aching all over again, I stood back up and wiped my mouth on the handkerchief once I'd extracted it from the cloak clasp. Retrieving my bag and tasting the acid sting lingering on my tongue and burning in the back of my throat I reconsidered my options.

There was no way that I would be climbing willingly into one of those crates and so that led me to the only other vaguely plausible method which was, unfortunately, one that I had already discarded. Going through the water was my only chance. It didn't necessarily have to be fatal. I should be able to hide myself relatively well in the shadows, partially through vampiric trait and partially because my clothes were predominantly black…especially if I was to turn my cloak inside out to show its pitch coloured lining. Also, if I kept to the shallows and moved quickly my boots should protect my feet to some degree. If all went well the worst I would be left with would be burns…and if I made a mistake, I could very well end up crippled or dead. But then again, when I compared that fate to the one I was sure would await me if I stayed here, well; the benefits outweighed the costs. It was a risk that I was going to have to take if I was going to get anywhere tonight.

I started off away from the ship so that I would not be spotted crossing over to the water's edge. I would approach on the left, opposite the side that the men were concentrating on.

Without further ado I turned the cloak inside out and was off on my way. Jogging swiftly it was simple enough the reach where the sand met the sea and then move up the beach towards the ship and just as I hoped, the humans were all far to busy with their given tasks to take any notice even though they had been clearly told to be on the look out.

I stayed out of the water for as long as I could and only ventured into it when I had no other choice. My breath hitched the very second that I took the first step. For a moment I almost stopped myself, as it was impossible to believe any rational thought process could have come up with this ridiculous little plan. But thankfully I managed to keep going and I can only imagine the events that might have befallen me if I had not. I could barely contain the new fear felt for my proximity to the water now surrounding me and I quickly felt my body chill and my legs shake as I moved on.

For now the leather had not been penetrated but I new it would not take much longer and sure enough the first few tingling sensations against the skin of my feet indicated that if I did not hurry I would end up as a small boiling mess of bones washing back onto the beach. Nearing the ship now I could make out the name of it which had been lovingly painted on to a large metal plaque in swirling calligraphy; '_Everseeker'_.

I must admit that I was highly surprised when not a single human soul spotted me. Deep down I had been suspecting that there would be no way this could go smoothly, but they seemed so focused on getting ready to go that everything else was completely ignored. Thusly I was able to reach the ship, though nowhere near the middle which was highly unfortunate. By this time I was crouching by the pier and could feel the water that had been absorbed into the tanned animal hide searing my flesh…if I didn't hurry up I would have just a soupy mess for lower legs…good grief it _hurt_! It was all I could do to stop myself screaming. I waited as long as I could bear to work out the pattern of the coming and going of the men and when I was sure the moment was right I used all the strength my re-birth had bestowed me to jump as high as possible and use my claws to latch onto the wood. I managed to get quite near the edge but the soft sand and the pain I was suffering had hindered the move and so I was left clinging only by the sharpened nails that were now beginning to tear away from my fingertips. A joyous experience, I think not! I cannot decide which is worst; the burning in my boots or the agony flaring up my fingers and hands.

By my count I only had a brief few more seconds before someone would be up on the deck so I kicked against the side to launch me the last couple of feet to drop almost silently on board the '_Everseeker_'. I didn't have the time to take in any of my new surroundings or to admire the craftsmanship of the vessel I had stolen aboard…I had just enough time to dive down the stairs. The inside was a veritable labyrinth of crates and goods, and I ended up ducking and dodging to avoid being spotted as I worked my way to the lowest hold at the very bottom of the ship which was already filled.

As soon as I entered the place and was certain that no one was on their way to make life difficult for me I dropped to the boards and all but tore the boots from my feet.

It was not a pretty sight. I had hoped that they might just be somewhat raw…but no…in most places the skin had been stripped completely away and around where the water had come through at the lace holes and were the soles were stitched to the upper the flesh itself was eaten away to reveal veins and ligaments. I suspected that the gruesome sight would have made me throw up again if I hadn't already left my lunch outside. Thankfully, the moment the boots were off so was the water and so the gruesome wounds instantly repaired themselves; flesh and skin re-growing and knitting together without mark or scar. The boots were still sodden so there was no way I would be putting them back on until they had dried out…which would mean at least two or three days barefoot. Well…it wasn't as if I couldn't get another pair from somewhere or another, and if I felt that desperate I might be able to find some in these crates or simply just mug one of the crew.

To help my boots dry I pried open another crate that looked similar to…the one outside, and then a few more until I found more of the plain cloth which I then tore into strips to use as stuffing to absorb the damnable liquid (singing my hands in the process). With the lids hammered quietly back into place I turned my attention to finding a more hidden spot to make myself comfortable.

There was a clear path between the walls of that which had been packed into the place and at the farthest end I found a small space that would be easy enough for me to fit myself into. I turned the cloak back the right way round but kept it on then settled down in the space, placing my soggy, salty boots and my bag in front of me. Out of habit I automatically curled into my usual sleeping position; back to the wall, hugging my legs to my chest and resting my head on my knees.

For a while I just listened to the ominous creaking made by the '_Everseeker_' which I tried to assure myself was all perfectly normal even though I new nothing at all to do with sailing in any way shape or form. I had neglected to ask Ridwan how long the journey would take when it got underway, so for all I knew I could be in one hell of a long wait…maybe even days. Damn it all I should have asked.

Sighing I supposed I aught to think of something to do to stop me dying of boredom while I waited for the ship to set sail and reach its destination.

In the end…all I could think of was home.

-o-

I can't say why I went back; I just knew that I had to. I couldn't stay away forever no matter what I had tried to tell myself. My soul would never stand for it if I had refused my own desire to return and find what had become of all those I had left behind.

But when I got there…after crossing the dusty wasteland I hadn't been sure if I would ever see again…once I had retraced my steps all the way back to the place that I had run from…what I found was…

Nothing.

It was derelict. I couldn't believe that the place was actually capable of being so silent and empty. There had never been a time that I can recall where there had not been _someone_ awake in the entire place. Even if it were only one of the servants with an errand to run the territory had never been vacant, not like how it was now.

There were no voices; only my footsteps echoing against the walls filled the space around me. The silence was something I found to be highly unnerving and I could feel cold pricks against my skin as I slowly walked along. I was frightened nearly half to death by a grasshopper that chose to chirrup right beside me just as I was growing accustomed to the emptiness.

What happened here? Where were they all? Had something happened in this place or had they actually taken it upon themselves to act on my advice and left? I hadn't the answers to any of the questions that I kept producing, all that I could do was move on and hope to see something that might explain what occurrence had caused my home to become a hollow shell, devoid of all the life that had made it what it was.

Casting my gaze about the place I sought the elusive clue to ease the heartache of not knowing whether they were dead, on the run…or worse. There were no candles, no fires and there was dust settling about the place, all suggesting that it had been a while since anyone had been here, servant or otherwise. Nothing else, however, was out of place. Rooms were still as they should have been, in tact and unblemished by any struggle an attacker or intruder would herald.

It made no sense…after all of their harsh words to me over what they considered the state of my mind had they just accepted my warning? No…something just wasn't right. Something awful had happened here, I could feel it; a lingering wind of unease blowing through the place, a terrible tension to alert the soul.

I was not very well acquainted with the contents of peoples rooms and so looking in theirs for signs was not the greatest of ideas…but the master's…I had been there a good few times recently so I aught to be able to recognise anything out of place in _his_ chamber.

The journey there and my approach to the doors was uneventful and upon laying my hands on the wood I felt nothing more than the grain…no greater fear or anxiety than was all around me. I gave a solid push to both doors and they swung soundlessly open to reveal that the room I was so sure I would recognise was nothing like what I knew it to be. It was ten times larger, more a hall than a room, and was bare of everything. No carpet, no bed, no cupboards, no sideboard, no ottoman, no window…just a cold hall with flagstones for a floor, walls formed of slabs of roughly shaped white marble and a ceiling so obscured by darkness I could not make it out at all…and I got the feeling that no matter how high I jumped or climbed, it would always be that way.

"This is new." I said out loud to myself, in the hope the sound of my voice would comfort and calm me. But my words seemed to be swallowed up, and although I could _feel_ the sounds being made in my throat and being expelled from my mouth they never reached my ears.

Shouting didn't help in the slightest; I still couldn't produce anything that could exist outside of my own skull.

I turned to leave, only to witness blood begin to seep out of and run down the closed doors which, on this side, seemed to have esoteric symbols scored and burned into them. It poured thickly from invisible holes in the surface and spluttered out around the hinges and handles as if pushed out by a heartbeat…and…and the white walls soon followed suit until they looked as if they were actually made of it, held up by some arcane force alone; vertical wide rivers of blood creating a cage around me, the floor of which was rapidly beginning to fill. Already I was up to my ankles in the crimson liquid and desperate to get out. But trying to open the door was as futile as trying to hold mist as the blood had made the hands so slick I could not grasp them…my hands would slide straight off without the slightest hint of purchase on their surface.

"Why…" a heavy voice breathed behind me…a voice that was not my own and echoed against the running walls.

Turning again, I faced my brothers and sisters…all standing before me, paler than fresh winter snow for I knew that all this blood had to be theirs; drawn from them by the grip of death. They looked more like zombies than vampires…their eyes dull and without the lustre I had always seen them so full of; their enthusiasm for mere existence was gone. Skin was taught against their bones as if there were no muscle to support them and they seemed to twitch and shudder with every step…every step that they took towards me.

"Why should you go when we could not?" They all said; one collective voice screaming at me, a singular noise I heard with my heart.

As they moved, the skin at their joints tore like parchment, exposing the brittle yellowed bone beneath. These rips and tears accumulated and bit-by-bit their limbs began to fall from them, dropping into the blood that was already up to my knees where they would boil and dissolve.

"You should have taken us with you; this is _your_ fault!" Those who still possessed arms pointed accusing fingers at me, some of which twisted, snapped as they did so.

I tried to speak, to tell them that I had done all that I could; I had _tried_ to convince them. Tried so hard to save them but they wouldn't listened. But again my words were devoured by the dark void above that took the place of the roof.

"Coward…passing the blame…you should have tried harder. You know you could have. You are the only one to blame. This is your doing, your fault; yours and yours alone. You allowed this. You let us die while you ran away, coward."

Spinning around, my heard racing, I slammed my hand again and again against the door, splashing blood over me with each strike. I could hear them behind me…so close now…I knew I would soon feel them against me, in whatever state of rot they were overcome by. I tried to tell them how sorry I was, but I had been silenced and there was nothing I could do to make them here me, it was too late for words, for apologies. It was just too damn late…I didn't deserve a voice…why _should_ they listen to me?

"Why should you leave?" Calisra said.

Calisra? No, I couldn't look around. One last slam against the door and it finally burst open, gravity bearing me to the ground with my eyes firmly shut and the blood rushing over me, soaking me to the skin.

"Why!" was their final, extended and anguished cry, with Calisra's the loudest of them all.

And then…silence…the clammy feeling of the blood was gone, as was the sensation of unfamiliarity that the hall replacing my master's chamber had had about it. Opening my eyes I saw that I was back in the hall, clean and dry. Turning onto my back I looked at the double doors…a small trickle of blood emerged from the crack where the two slabs of wood met.

Without looking back I sprinted away down the halls, afraid to look back until I reached the room that should be my own. Looking back the way I came I was glad to see that there was no wave of scarlet chasing after me. I cautiously opened the door to my own room…and saw nothing out of place. It was exactly as I had left it; a complete wreck, a familiar wreck.

I padded inside and looked out of the window, which I vividly remembered using to cause certain items of furniture fully vacated the premises. Nothing else had changed. The territory was empty…

Those symbols on the master's door…was it possible that they were a curse; an awful spell to trap my fellow Razielim and make them suffer for a lightless and pained eternity? I wouldn't put it past Lord Kain to do such a thing in a rush of jealousy. I seemed just like him; to decide that the Abyss or the Reaver was just not enough torture.

If it was a curse, then perhaps there was some way of removing it and freeing them…yes, there had to be! I don't care what it takes; even if I have to go all the way to hell to find the solution I would find a way to save them. It was my duty to save them now, my penance for failing them before and allowing this torturous purgatory to be cast on them.

Moving from the window and it's view of a barren home I sat down on the edge of the bed and give some time to thinking things over; things like what I would do now…who I might be able to talk to without Lord Kain discovering me and hunting me down…

I was suddenly aware of another living presence in the room. Turning my head I watched with chilling horror as a sickeningly familiar man crossed the rag-rug covered floor to where I now perched shivering…all too aware that I was clothed in only a pair of shorts and a shirt too large for me with its top buttons missing meaning that it was permanently slipped off one shoulder.

Every inch of me was frozen solid as he ended his approach and I felt the ancient mattress dip where his weight was placed into it.

I could do nothing more than simply stare ahead at the cracks in the plaster of the wall that, in places, had fallen away to show the wood behind. Those distressingly familiar walls bathed in cheap candlelight. But even if it wasn't, the single window was mostly boarded shut and would block a lot of the natural light. My life spent under the glow of a tallow candle, with sheets and pillows that reeked of other men's sweat.

Calloused fingers reaching from behind me brushed my shoulder then again over one cheek before settling in my tousled hair and proceeding to stroke it. "I missed you." Came the awful oily voice of the man behind me. I could not see him, but I knew he would be of average height, with half lidded watery hazel eyes and cropped dark brown hair. His face would be set in a hazy smile of lust.

Arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me so that I was kneeling on the bed with the man behind me, knees either side of my hips and chest pressed to my back.

"Please…" I whispered in a voice that shook as much as my body did. "Don't…"

"Shhh." He cooed, sliding one palm down my side and leg. "Good boy."

"No…" but my voice was small and I was weak, I didn't dare do anything to stop him and knew crying would only make it so much worse. "Stop it."

I tried to find a place in my mind to retreat to and closed my eyes while those same fingers moved to dig painfully hard into my hip, reminding me that it was not my place to complain or protest...that I had no control.

I couldn't let myself cry…even though my eyes stung and my throat was unbearably tight.

"Sweet little thing." Were the words spoken as the other hand rose to hold my neck.

The breathing behind me became heavier, the body tougher and the heartbeat that carried through my back was steadier. I felt rough lips and cold breath began to trace above my jugular and twin sharp needlepoints raise welts in the skin there.

The hand at my hip suddenly felt colder and more solid, not to mention sharper, and the same could be said of the hand clasped to my neck.

Creeping my eyes open and wanted to scream. The hands were not hands…they were bony claws, the skin on the arms was rough and muscled…and long white hair spilled over my shoulder and chest from the head buried in my neck.

No… 

K-k-k…Kain!

Panic overruled every other thought process and I struggled for all I was worth to get away from him, heart leaping into my mouth.

But it seemed as though it would all be in vain for he was a million more times stronger than me and if there was something he wanted then nothing was going to stop him. I'd heard the stories…I'd even seen him once or twice with my own two eyes. His muscles were like steel cables, flesh as hard as stone, it was as pointless as trying to push against a mountain. I must have caught him off guard as an accidental but firm elbow to the ribs had him winded and enabled be to make a break for it. Pulling myself free of his grip I made a dash for the door…but to my dismay it was locked.

"Last one, eh, boy?" I heard Kain growl behind me as I tugged on the handles, voice as rough as his touch. "Think you would go unnoticed? You're a good boy, coming back. I would have had to find you if you didn't."

I didn't look back at him, I just held onto the handle, hunched against the door. "Please just let me go." That look in his eyes; I'd seen it so many times before and had hoped never to see it again after master Raziel had saved me. "Please!"

"Shouting won't help. There's no one left to hear you; you are the only one. The last one."

Claws scuffed to a halt behind me…he was standing right behind me. I didn't even think about what I did next, I just spun around and put as much force as I could into one hand; driving my claws into his side.

He grunted and took half a step back but otherwise was unfazed. Grabbing my wrist he wrenched my nails from his muscles and then backhanded my face. Good god he hit hard and I could swear I blacked out for a second, as I couldn't even remember falling and skidding across the floor until I struck the wall, which is where I ended up. I made to pick myself up and it was then that my eyes caught on the red stained figure slumped beside me.

Kain caught me looking and smirked. "He can't save you twice. And what makes you think that you deserve to be saved?"

_Master! _Bleeding from over a dozen shredded tears in his body as well as the gaping great holes in his back where his new wings were supposed to be. His cold dark eyes stared lifelessly into my own and silently displayed the last few moments of pain suffered before his soul mercifully flew from his shattered form.

"You betrayed him." Kain laughed, guttural and low. "You left your entire clan to die, even your precious master. Why didn't you _make_ him go with you, why didn't you keep trying until he understood? You let this happen to him, you may as well have killed him with your own two hands."

I had just enough time to roll onto my back before Kain grabbed me by the throat and hauled me up; slamming me mercilessly into the wall. Thrashing my head as if somehow it might help and straining against his vice grip

Bloody wings rose from Kain's back, from which ran rivulets of thick crimson over his shoulders. His face twisted into an expression half way between a smile and a snarl before grabbing my wrists and pinning them above my head with one hand so he could release my throat. Pushing his knee into my stomach to help stop my struggling he grabbed my head with his free hand.

"No! Let me go! Please don't!" I begged.

The wings rose and hooded above us, dropping blood thickly over me, into my eyes and over my skin.

"Please! No!" I screamed desperately, unable to focus.

He laughed wildly and I could feel the booming sound echoing in my chest. "You're not going anywhere."

"Please…" I couldn't even scream anymore. All I was able to produce was a terrified whimper. "Let me go."

He shook his head. "And why would I do that? What use are you? You are just another potential threat and you have _proven _yourself to be a traitor."

There was nothing about him that gave away what he did next. He dragged me by my hands across the room, through the pools of my master's blood, and tossed me onto the bed.

"No!" Not again…I can't…I can't go back to that…But within seconds he had his claw flat to my chest and holding me down. I couldn't stop him…that _look_.

"You're the only one remaining. Let's make this enjoyable…and make it last. Just stay put and lie still, _boy_."

"Aaaghhhh!" Throwing my head back with one last wail of despair it struck the solid wood behind me and left me in a daze.

Blinking back into focus the world became clear again. Harshly and quickly breathing in the cold salty sea air, the cargo hold of the trading ship '_Everseeker_' returned to me…still dark and gloomy. Far from home, and slowly venturing further still. My back firmly to the wall and legs tucked against me, alone and safe.

Shaking, sweating and weeping tears that burned lines down my face, I confirmed my surroundings, wrapping fingers around the white material I drew the cloak tighter around me…yes, safe…

It was just a dream, a bad dream…a bloody nightmare.

A regular thumping that scuffed to a halt in front of me suddenly joined the creaks and groans of the hold that I had begun to grow used to and almost find comforting. Lifting my eyes I was met with the unwelcome sight of a pair of boots before.

"Should have guessed." Said Ridwan, sneering down at me. "Bloody vampire."

He towered above me, glaring down with pure contempt now wearing a long black hooded cloak and clutching a sabre in his fist so tightly his knuckles were bone white.

My eyes still stung but the tears had stopped and the blackened scorches tracing down my cheeks were quickly healing. "You're going to try to kill me?" I didn't need this. I didn't need to wake up from that hell of a nightmare to be confronted by a sharpened length of cold steel being wielded by an enraged human being.

"No, I'm not going to try to kill you. I _am_ going to kill you. There's a difference."

"You're on your own." I commented, noting the lack of reinforcements. I assumed that I had screamed out loud and that upon being the only one to hear it he had come to investigate.

He didn't seem to have a reply, instead preferring to slash at me with the sword he held. Of course, although I would rather not admit it, even though I was a vampire and thus physically stronger and faster than he, Ridwan had the upper hand. He had the weapon with the longer reach and I was the one backed into a very small space with nowhere to go. As he made the attack I had automatically jumped up and tried to move backwards out of pure instinct…only to find I couldn't pass through walls and was now at the right height to have the angle of attack changed to thrust the blade into my chest.

For a second I just looked at the steel protruding from my ribcage as if nothing had happened…and then the pain surfaced and I couldn't help but scream again. He had missed my heart but had, instead, impaled my lungs. I felt my diaphragm buck inside me and blood rose up my throat to spill from my mouth…the metallic taste flooding over my tongue and lingering there tainted with the curse that made me what I was. My instinct reaction would have just been to struggle, which would have made it worse, but thankfully I managed to hold that in and instead pressed forwards using my greater strength to push Ridwan back until I was in a fairly open area. _Then_ I could pull away from him.

I stood facing him now, with a hole in my chest and no weapon but my claws. He could shout for help and it would all be over.

He raised the sword which now seemed to glow red as if were on fire because of the light of a storm lantern glaring on the blood from my own body along its length. "Just stay still and die!"

_To be continued…_

_Author's Note – Wow, sorry this is so late. Next time I'll stick to the date I set and update on time. Thanks to all for reading and reviewing!_

_Poor Maddrell…I torture him so. I had a great debate as to whether to post this one at all; I wanted to chop and change the nightmare sequence alot more than I already have but figured I'd held back the update for long enough as it is. Maybe I'll change it in the future._


	5. C 05 Akatra Calling

Chapter Five: Akatra Calling

I should have seen this coming; I didn't need to be a soothsayer to have foretold the encounter that I was now faced with. I should never have allowed myself to fall asleep.

Well…It was most certainly too late now to do anything about it and here I was on board a trading ship in the middle of the sea, heading for a human haven and I had been _discovered_. I had been found like a cornered rat and now faced an armed crew member who could easily call for reinforcements. I had no weapon, no available aid, no room to move and, damn it all, no bloody boots on.

Ridwan didn't waste any time letting me get my bearings, he struck out again with a textbook slash that a human would have been hard pressed to dodge, but being a vampire I managed it well enough.

"Stand still and die you damn corpse." He snarled.

"I resent that." I informed him. Playing the fool was a natural defence mechanism for me when it came to situations that I was unsure how to handle. Jokes, laughs, smiles and sarcasm were my shield. I couldn't help myself. But it seemed that Ridwan was partial to the odd comment himself.

"Why? It's what you are. You are already dead; you just need to be reminded." He decided it would be best to punctuate his words with another attack. "Stop moving!"

"I've had a very bad day, must you make it worse?"

"Oh be quiet." And with that he pressed forward with the attack again. It wasn't like I was incapable of defending myself from a human; I just was not in the mood for any of this. Just as I had told him, I was not enjoying any of this and I had no desire to be hurt. Just having his hatred aimed at me was enough especially after recent events and the most realistic and terrifying nightmare that I had in long time. I was _not_ in any frame of mind to be treated like a monster. Hah, like _I_ was a monster. The human race needs to take a good, long and hard look at itself. Not that I could really blame the man before me for wishing naught but to cleave my head from my shoulders, for he was only trying to defend himself. Granted, I hadn't actually done anything to him but he recognised himself as prey and I as predator and so he was doing only what any animal would instinctively do in his position; fight or flight. As we were aboard a ship running was out of the question and so a fight to the death was apparently the only possible solution.

Ha! Predator! And here I am backing away from my so called prey. It was about time that I remedied that.

I didn't move to dodge the next attack, instead opting for a novel form of block that involved raising both hands to meet the moving blade and grasp it tight as it bit into my palms and sank down through the flesh towards my wrists. This, naturally, rendered my thumbs completely useless to me but having the blade jammed deep inside my hands and my fingers closed over it gave me enough grip to push sharply forward on the sword, controlling the angle, to crack the hilt smartly between Ridwan's eyes.

The shocked expression on his face was one I was sure could never be replicated as he stumbled backwards, releasing the blade to me in a reflex action. But, to his credit, he didn't remain that way for long and he kept his balance relatively well. Ending up in a semi-crouch he wiped away the blood that was now streaming down his face with one hand. Hnh, I must have hit him harder than I thought.

I was in possession of the sword now, but happened to be holding onto completely the wrong end in a manner that would more than likely make me gag if I were to dare to look at where so much pain was emanating from. Wrenching my hands apart in a flurry of blood, the sword clattered to the ground and I clasped my mangled extremities to my stomach while my thumbs reconnected back where they belonged and the rest of the wounding disappeared without a trace. All of that took a few short seconds at most and then it was back to deciding a victor again. During the time I had been nursing my poor hands, Ridwan was lunging for his sabre which was still by my feet where I had let it drop to. A swift kick saw him reeling back again but he was undeniably persistent and not even newly cracked ribs were going to keep him down.

I hadn't the time or patience to come up with a snide comment to pass his way about his relentlessness, so instead chose to snatch up the fallen weapon and strike out for his throat. He jumped aside at the last moment, allowing me to cut into a crate which refused to release the blade back to me. I would have tried to wrench it free if it were not for being suddenly caught blind when Ridwan came up with the idea of tearing his cloak from his shoulders and flinging it over my head. Before I could claw it off, he was on me again, punching my head repeatedly until I was too disorientated to stand, let alone fight back.

Damn it all to hell! Why was this so easy for him? One human who was weaker, slower and less agile than I yet he was running rings around me! I understand well that I am but a fledgling but this is ridiculous!

Rage welled up inside me and like before in my room a dark red wave flooded my mind and my senses. It was like having a second self rushing to take control of me, begging me to relinquish my body to it's will…I always did wonder if I was the only one to perceive the bloodlust in this manner as no one else I knew had ever described it as thus. Perhaps it was merely because I did not experience the lust very often…maybe it only seemed like another me because I consciously make a distinction and separating myself into two frames of mind.

Through a scarlet haze I ripped the cloak away, leapt to my feet and whirled around; lashing out at the human heartbeat I could hear pounding beside me. Catching Ridwan solidly in the side of the head he was knocked into a stack of crates which splintered, broke and sent others tumbling down on top of him. I was still infused with the dark desire to tear him limb from limb… hearing the pulse of his heartbeat reverberating within my skull and tasting his blood in my mouth when I breathed in the air around me. But as I crossed to where he lay the fog surrounding me cleared and what I like to consider as my normal self surfaced again…just as if I had been watching rather than performing the acts. The lust had subsided because Ridwan had ceased to interest my predatory side; I had grown accustomed to the scent of his blood by now, his breathing and heartbeat were steady and he was no longer moving…he was out cold. Shifting the wood aside Ridwan's comatose body was revealed with blood still smearing his face, but he wasn't dead and unless I killed him now, or I had given him brain damage, he would be able to wake in a few hours or so with a terrible headache and bruised body but a full life ahead of him. He was only defending himself…but I couldn't just leave him as he was risk to me.

But as I reached to take his head in my hands I heard boots thumping steadily closer in the rhythm of a panicked run.

"What the hell is going on here?" demanded a voice I could recognise as belonging to the man that had thrown the pebble at Ridwan back on the beach. He must have come down to see what all of the noise was about; the crashing of the crates and so forth. "Ridwan? Wha- Oh my god!"

He saw me...oh dear…here it comes…the oh so familiar cry of –

"Vampire!"

Yes, that's the one. And as could be expected his cry was responded to with yet more hurried footsteps coming my way. Sure enough, armed crewmembers were soon visible behind the pebble thrower.

"We can't let it get off the ship." One of them said coldly.

Off the ship? What, and into the sea? Off the ship indeed, what kind of notion is that to mention when a vampire is concerned? Unless of course…during my plagued sleep the good ship '_Everseeker_' had made its sea crossing and Akatra was just beyond the bow that held me contained.

Either way, I could not afford to remain in this hold as it was far too small for me to stand my ground in for long. I was penned in with a fading bloodlust, restricted movement because of the broken crates and their spilt cargo…not to mention the limp form of Ridwan. So as the crew began their approach I ducked back into the space I had slept in to retrieve my belongings before charging forwards heedless of the weapons I could see them wielding. Slowing only to snatch up Ridwan's fallen sabre I ploughed headlong straight into the throng of crowded men, determined to push my way through and sprint for an exit before they could reduce me to ribbons. It was harder than I had anticipated; whether it be that they were heroically trying to protect their beloved land or had been galvanised by the sight of what they assumed to be the corpse of their friend (even though he was quite clearly breathing, I'll thank you to notice) they were not going to let me go.

With greater strength than they, I managed to force through the crush of bodies, lashing out when need be to provide a second's worth of space. They were after me the very instant that I had evaded them but as can be expected it was fairly simple for one such as I to outrun them and jump through the various hatches that they would have to pause to climb the stairs or ladders for. I encountered even more infuriated (and infuriat_ing_) men as I worked my way through the wooden maze and it didn't help that those giving chase were screaming things along the lines of 'stop him!' and 'the bastard got Ridwan!' at the top of their lungs as well as the ever faithful roar of 'vampire!' (You'd think they would have come up with something a tad more imaginative by now…)

It wasn't too long before I reached the deck, praying for all I was worth to the dear goddess of luck that it was night time, and was instantly stunned still by the view of the land…this island country…that was Akatra. If Nosgoth's poison had spread past the sea to this place then it did not show. Though all I could see was the port, which appeared to me to be another generic bustling port not so much different from any other I had seen pictures of around Nosgoth, it was obvious that Akatra did not suffer so. Even on this ship I could _feel_ the vitality of this place, I had not realised that I sensed the pain and rot of my home, my _former_ home, in my heart but this new place was devoid of all that suffering and sadness. In Nosgoth I had always felt the land dying all around me but because I had never known any different it had not registered in my mind, I had never had anything to compare it to, I had thought that it was normal…but now I knew so much better. This place _lived_ and all of a sudden I felt unworthy of being here, as if I would spread the disease of Kain's unjustly glorified empire should I set so much as a single foot on its pristine soil.

But the cries of the men that were quickly gaining on me soon brought me out of my reverie and self preservation won out. The gangplank was not yet down but that wasn't going to stop me as it was the work of but a brief moment and hardly any effort at all to leap to the jetty below with an unfortunately undignified landing before running again, head down and belongings clutched tightly to my chest, as fast as my two feet would take me. Recognising none of my surroundings I charged on heedless of any people I knocked over and by the yelps that arose it seemed that there were many who suffered by my haste.

Hurrying over the wood boarded dock I passed into what seemed to be a town of sorts, an alley of which provided a place to hide from my pursuers and gather both my thoughts and energy. Allowing my items to drop I leaned against one wall and contemplated what my next move was going to be. There was no way that I would be going back whether I wanted to or not, an alert would be out about me now, I was in unfamiliar territory and surrounded by possible thousands of potential enemies. I was alone; very _very_ alone. The only vampire in this land, if rumours spoke true, and I was young in my years…the prospect of spending the rest of my existence like this, on the run, in this unknown place suddenly descended on me.

I had worried about it somewhat beforehand and during my recent travels but the full weight of it had not sunk in then…oh, but it had now. I'd never lived alone and there were things about this new life which master Raziel had so graciously given to me that I was still yet to learn. If I lived long enough how would I deal with an evolution? And even after all of the master's counselling (and outright bullying) I still found it immensely difficult to bite people. I had no shelter, no food and no idea as to when the sun would be rising…or where I was even going now that I had come this far. This was a very bad night to be me.

Well, of all my problems, sustenance should not be too difficult to find but a suitable shelter was another matter entirely. I had better start looking right away, so I gathered up my things, donning my cloak with the bag slung over on shoulder, boots in my left hand and sword in my right. It didn't take much in the way of thought to surmise that it was best to stay hidden until the panic my arrival had caused had subsided but there was no way I could stay put when I was in desperate need of a place to protect me from the coming dawn…and so it was that I was forced to make my way into the great unknown.

Well, at least the change in scenery would be nice.

Keeping away from the main roads and away from people altogether would be my best bet as the fewer people that knew exactly where I was or where I had been then the harder it would be for anyone to locate and disembowel me…which I didn't fancy even if I could survive it. My wanderings took me deep into this port town which smelled predominantly of fish, seawater and humanity, and even though it was night there were many people out of there homes and the streets were brightly lit with gas and candle lamps as well as what appeared to be the odd few decorative paper lanterns. Nothing like what I was used to at all…as far as my life experiences had taught me, the only humans that should be out once the sun had set were suicidal or stupid. The homes here seemed far better constructed than the crude and dilapidated domiciles of Nosgoth, mainly wood, and the place seemed to have a very open and light feel even though it was crowded.

It was high time that I stopped contemplating and stewing over the same thoughts and actually _do_ something before I was found. So I took myself as far away from the sea as I could get, as fast as I could go. The neat buildings began to peter out and bit by bit the town faded away into track roads indented with hoof and cartwheel trails that cut their way through what was rapidly becoming thick forest land.

Forest…

Even in the dark it was all so…green. So alive, so different from the scrub that was almost all that could survive in Nosgoth's decay. Akatra was Nosgoth's polar opposite in so many ways and the plant life was only one of them; in one place you could be driven to depression induced suicide while the other could smother you with the abundance and vividness of its life. It was only now I'd seen this place that I truly realised just what a cess pit the land I had been born into had become. I know it _used_ to be like this, once-upon-a-time, but no one I knew nor could I myself ever recall such a thing. It must have been a long, long time ago.

While my thoughts spiralled around the same subjects over and over again I ventured away from the track in order to keep distance from anyone else who may be using it and thus see me…but in doing so I was running the risk of becoming dangerously lost. Although the stars were visible to me I knew not how to navigate by them, every tree looked the same to me and to top it all off my sense of direction was unbelievably poor to begin with. For my first year as a vampire I frequently became lost when merely trying to locate the latrine and often I would find Calisra or master Raziel waiting outside for me to be done so that they could show me the way back again. It was often embarrassing to say the least but I soon learned the way and no longer needed a chaperone.

In the dark I could see further than a human so I made a compromise and stalked off into the deeper edge of the forest; far enough away to be obscured from mortal sight but close enough for my heightened senses to make out the path and thus allow me to walk roughly parallel to the track. I did, however, encounter two setbacks. One was that my feet were being badly cut and bruised as I was not used to walking around barefoot. Though as a human (both man and child) I was predominantly without footwear, I never really had the opportunity to walk outside for any amount of time that would warrant my soles toughening enough to withstand trekking through open ground.

The second, and more important, problem was that the trees were now rapidly disappearing and soon enough I found myself traversing a scene devoid of almost all plant life, looking for all the world as if it had been burned away and the flora and fauna were only just beginning to venture back into it.

The scene seemed empty however, so I decided it safe enough to cross the expanse that lay before me…not that I really had much of a choice of staying where I was; it was onwards or nothing. As I continued I could make out in the distance where the singed landscape became lush farmland which in turn was met by what I assumed to be a village of sorts.

Time was against me and I had to hope that I would find what I so desperately needed in that village…

I had thought the place to be empty but as I made the crossing of the blasted landscape, feet beginning to feel distinctly raw now, a new and highly undesirable sensation began to creep through me to displace the almost light headed contentment that Akatra had previously been pouring into me. This new sensation was one of unease, as if I had suddenly been confronted by a creature with malicious intentions…like something was very wrong and _harmfully _so. Perhaps this place was not as perfect as I had originally thought, perhaps there was something here taking vampires places in terrorising the mortal inhabitants.

As if in response to this, my suspicion seemed to be confirmed when I stumbled upon the corpse of a human male lying face down on the scorched and healing ground. By the smell and look of things he had been dead for days. Turning him over to get a better idea of what fate had befallen him, his decaying face displayed an expression of such terrified anguish that I promptly and unconsciously opened up all of my senses to search out threats and gave a glance to every available direction at lease half a dozen times. The dead man, I assumed, had originally been shaven headed but the rotting skin had shrunk back to reveal the tips of the cut hairs (it is a common misconception that hair grows after death…un-death; yes, but true death; no), he wore a robe of sorts and clutched a long string of beads in one hand. Near his side was a slim wooden staff…purpose unknown. He looked like some kind of religious authority. I could see no obvious wounds on him, nor any blood, and he did not appear to me to be of an age that would warrant such an abrupt and seemingly painful demise. Apart from being dead and decaying he looked to be in good physical condition…it was as though he had literally been _frightened _to death, if his face was anything to go by. I suppose it isn't completely impossible for a normal, young man to have a coronary if the shock was bad enough. But what could have frightened him so?

What the hell was going on here?

Though I'm sure someone would object, I took a sash from the robe of the man in order to tie my boots to my satchel and thus free both hands for defence if need be (as I didn't want to tangle the bootlaces and end up tearing them trying to get them off again). Glancing around again I dared to move on, both wanting and _not_ wanting to know what had happened.

But the closer I got to the village, the more corpses I found and by the time I had reached the farmland I had seen six more bodies, all with the same petrified expressions and unblemished bodies. They were men, women and children, dressed in more normal attire compared to the first cadaver that I had found…and I could _smell_ other deceased that I could not yet see…just what was going on!

All I could do was move one, and move on I did.

After the artificial daytime of the port town, the village I finally reached was more familiar to me in the sense that it mimicked the human settlements of Nosgoth in its ghost-town like feel. Everything was shut up tight without even a candle's glimmer and the silence told me more than a sound ever would; people were afraid and were locking themselves away until the sun banished their fears.

Now was the perfect time to look for a place and it was not too long at all before I came across what seemed to be an abandoned structure on the outskirts…in fact _all_ of the outskirt's domiciles seemed to have been vacated. The people of this village, though obviously held in terror, must have been quite trusting of their fellow man at least as not a single door was locked…which made my life, briefly, that much simpler.

The place which I entered in which to shelter was only one floor, with thin walls and the strangest doors that I have ever laid eyes upon; they slid open rather than swinging…I mean, I've seen some of the huge heavy stone doors in Nosgoth that slid within the walls to open and seal areas…but never anything as simple as this. Inside, it was obvious that whoever usually resided here and owned this place had left in a hurry; the place wasn't really missing anything. A search concluded that only the essentials had been taken when they left and the place still had the 'lived in' look and feel. But it was still all strange and foreign to me. All of the furniture was uncomfortably low…and chairs appeared to be in short supply. Even the beds were low, seemingly lacking everything except the mattress…but it was a tidy and comfortable looking mattress nonetheless. Of what I had seen of its people, none were dwarves and so why so much was near ground level completely escaped me. But it mattered not for I was here for one reason only; to remain and rest until the sun had passed and I had another full night to explore. After a search I found a blanket and made sure all the windows were blocked, shrugged of my bag and cloak, removed and set aside my boots and curled up into a corner to sleep

-o-

It was faint at first; the smallest of sounds at the limits of my hearing which were gone as quickly as they came but were enough to rouse me from my much needed rest. Every time I neared the point of returning to sleep the sound would seem to intensify as if purely to spite me and it wasn't even a noise which I could pinpoint or even fully make out…just white noise that would come and go, rise and fall and keep me from slipping completely. But then…after, perhaps, a couple of hours it all finally came to a head.

The noise had subsided for a while but once more, just as I found myself nodding off, it all came together again and this time stronger than ever with all my senses focused on that which now confronted me…

Flames!

The thick pouring stench of the smoke was all but choking me and it was a small blessing that I had no real need of oxygen to live…but even so I could not help but cough violently, almost to the point which I would fear my insides becoming outsides through the strain.

The house must be on fire! Or at least that was my first thought…but then…no…not the house…the smoke was coming from the fire which blazed over…over…

My god…

Animals! The room was filled with animals and birds, each and every one crammed into the space and wrapped in flames that devoured their forms and caused them to shriek endlessly in pain. Fur and feathers were already gone, already burnt away, leaving me able to watch skin and muscle disintegrate into ashes and shrink away from blackened bones. They came closer, howling for all they were worth, voices echoing all around me while I was smothered in the stench of charred flesh.

Still hacking my guts up I tried to pull away from the unbearable heat…not that I had anywhere to go of course; the only exits were and truly blocked and it did not help that my back was already flush to the wall.

Two fire engulfed wolves at the head to the horde began baying and growling, hunching up as if to leap at me with tremors of tension running over what remained of their haunches. I had to get away but there was no way out no matter where I looked. Maybe I could just run for it, right through the middle, and pray for the best? Ridiculous…beyond those that I could see in this one room I could make out yet more fire in the hall and beyond; I'd never make it out in one piece. I tried rising to my feet and completely flattening myself to the wall in a vain attempt to keep just that little bit further away from the heat which was already at an unbearable level and miles to close for comfort. Already my body was reacting to it with a human response, causing my clothes and hair to stick to my skin with sweat…they were so close…I could feel the tongues of flame brushing, scorching hot, against me and there was no way to protect myself. Covering my eyes with my arms I could only prepare for the worst.

"I should never have left Nosgoth…" my last pathetic wail as the wolves leapt for my throat.

But as the last syllable escaped my throat the oppressive heat was gone and after lowering my arms to risk a glance I saw that all of the creatures had vanished, along with their flames. There wasn't a thing in this place to prove to me that they had been nothing more than another nightmare, not a single lingering scent or blackened mark. Yet I was awake and my skin was cold and clammy with perspiration.

I slid back down the wall to the floor. What was going on in this place, this land? Those burning animals…were they what killed those fear contorted people outside and if so why would they leave _me_?

But even after that there was no way I could leave this house into which I had stolen into…it was the only place I had now…I could see the dull orange glow of a last sunrise leaking into the room under the curtain of the window…there was no way I could leave now…not even after _that_…

No wonder the former inhabitants had left in such a hurry…

But this was all I had…

I had no choice but to remain.

_To be continued…_

_Author's Note – Ye gods! An Update! Can't see any apocalyptic horsemen…must be a good thing…_

_But seriously…six months…I can't believe it took me six months to get around to posting this...I'm so sorry._

_I know I disappeared for a while. My brain turned to mush and then the site wouldn't let me upload anything and things piled up... I'll try and keep on top of everything in future. Thank you to all who reviewed and read. Special thanks to Anoobish and Sissy Samurai for recently reminding and encouraging me to get this done and as always to BiOhAzArD for the inspiration to start this in the first place and also for supplying both 'Akatra' and the chapter title (which was once going to be the title for the whole thing but was ultimately changed to 'Flight…' because I wanted to keep Akatra secret for a little while)._


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